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Trauma Queen
traumaqueen.net
7
6'2'' gay ex-nanny/pyrotechnician turned EMT, wears a kilt. Jakey huckler, skelf shifter, stookie looker, skint knees. Meemaw.
#183918 in All

Surveillance

Many years ago there was a fatality on this event. Gus attended and became subsequently embroiled in the police investigation. The police out here are diligent. It’s important to them that any ...

15 h ago

Secular

Every night we convene for “prayers”. I have no idea why our evening meeting is called prayers. It just is. It’s one of those words that has become a concept in its own right. There...

1 day ago

Learning will occur

Wayne, Lilli and I fly out to our first check point. Set down in the sand we run her through the aircraft, how the emergency exits work, the brace position and where to put your lunch so that the tun...

22 may 12

Ulster Mob

This year we have guests. A professor and his gang of PhD students have come along to undertake research into the effects of standing in the desert all day. They’re here to take blood and urine...

19 may 12

Under par.

It’s better to ask forgiveness than permission, or at least that’s what we figured when we arranged (somewhat outside the knowledge of the greenkeeper…) for the helicopters to land ...

18 may 12

Hotel Weirdifornia

The few days in the hotel before we deploy to the desert is always a little odd. Race car drivers don’t keep schedules like normal people. Medics are perfectly used to their kit being around, e...

16 may 12

Super special smashing great

Every year, the day before the event starts properly, we attend the Super Special Stage; a press junket for the racers and those spectators who are interested but not necessarily interested enough to...

14 may 12

Crewman intro

The first few days of any Desert Challenge have been, for the past few years, a leisurely affair. The opening night and first morning? Are lovely. We all meet for breakfast, it’s a great opport...

05 may 12

Crewman toys.

Before I first went out to the desert, three years ago, I met a friend of a friend at a party; turned out he had experience flying Search and Rescue with the Navy and so I quizzed him. “Is ther...

28 apr 12

The higher up the mountain, the greener grows the grass.

One phone call to tell me she’d had a stroke. I poured myself a large scotch as my Mum spoke. I’d finished it by the time we hung up. The second one went down easier and I sat on Dahliah&...

13 apr 12

Fly, my pretties.

You know, sometimes I think of you guys like my army of winged monkeys. This kid is the kid of my friend’s friend. He’s selling art on eBay. He wants $12 to spend online. What say we all ...

11 apr 12

Post Trip Perspective

I came back from the desert two days ago, shook the sand from my boots and scrubbed it from parts of my body that I needn’t share. I slept and shared stories, ate Easter lunch with friends and ...

11 apr 12

Lofts in Berlin

Have portholes full of sunshine. They’re lovely.

08 apr 12

Vanishing point baby, aftermath.

And beyond the vanishing point? There’s a baby who’d like you to fuck off with the camera already.

07 apr 12

Vanishing point baby.

It turns out? At the point where all lines converge? There’s a cute baby.

06 apr 12

Lulu II

What I did buy from Lulu was this plastic digger for DigitalLouis, largely as when I told I him I was going away for a week he replied ” STOP BAD HOME and even when I apologised and assured him...

05 apr 12

Lulu I

Back in November? Back when I was at the F1? I wrote this. —- Our hotel is garrisoned behing an enormous array of road works. It’s classic UAE – there are hundreds of lights and bar...

01 apr 12

Sharp end

In Abu Dhabi this week for the Desert Challenge. Two days R&R before we end up in the sand. It’s a terrible ordeal this, sometimes. - In other news, have bloody awful sinusitis, not helped...

31 mar 12

Winged bringers of death.

Dark streets, no problem. Things that go bump in the night, bring it. Moths, daddy-long-legs and other large flappy things? Terror. Panic, chest cramping terror. (NB. For American people who think Da...

28 mar 12

It’s a *sign*.

Since Autumn I’ve been enrolled in a British Sign Language course, every wednesday I’m learning to talk with my hands. I was largely driven to sign up (see what I did there?) because it b...

16 mar 12

One and a half men.

So last year DigitalKate and DigitalSean flopped down on the sofa beside me and FlatmateDaliah. “We BOTH need a break.” Now, in the interests of not watching our flatmates burn out, Dalia...

11 mar 12

Where now?

Hey guys. So…it’s quiet here huh? There are some issues surrounding why it’s so quiet, but here’s the main one. At the end of the winter I got a promotion to “Accident a...

22 feb 12

Evening Entertainment

A night out is tricky on this event – as everyone’s knackered and last year our hotel was dry, meaning that anyone who fancied a pint had to take a cab to another hotel. Thankfully this y...

05 feb 12

F1 forgotten!

Deary me – digging through my iPad I found a couple of lost-in-the-mists-of-time F1 posts I never published. Mea culpa. I’d like to thanks Mr Nicholas Cagefor finding them for me, though ...

02 feb 12

BFF

“I found him collapsed here…” the kindly man points at the doorway in the car park, the warm, dry doorway, with bags packed up in it. And a sleeping bag. The kindly man is, I’...

31 jan 12

Differential diagnosis

When he thrashes his arms, foaming at the mouth, the bystanders will fret and call the ambulance. When he shouts and bawls, pointing at nobody, screaming at them to leave him alone, the police will m...

24 jan 12

And so this is Christmas.

I’ve hammered down the road, fast as I dare trust the tires on wet Christmas roads. Control rousing me from a much needed doze with the words I didn’t need to hear. “Topcat job for ...

08 jan 12

Christmas Cheer

Just a note to let you know that I’m writing this on my meal-break, having just been to a gentleman whose evening went like this: I’m thirsty! Drunk. Drunker. Fall asleep on couch. Roll s...

25 dec 11

Pit Walk

Kate, Shereen and I took a stroll down the pit lane one afternoon, taking in the sights and enjoying being on the other side of the barriers from the, frankly, rather rabid fans. We tried to chat to ...

21 dec 11

Britney

Every F1 lays on the entertainment and Friday night was Britney night. With the morbid fascination that draws people to gawp at car crashes and leads kids to poke at dead things with sticks, we dutif...

16 dec 11

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