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UnconditionLOL

I think my bravest and least juvenile perception on love has come today in the wake of an emotional takedown that has been lasting, lingering and resurrecting itself triumphantly over the last...

Boogers, Swiss cheese, maggots, and motels

Love is like a booger: the good ones are way at the back of your nostril and you have to dig to get to them and sometimes you even have to blow. Throughout my high school career (I wouldn’t call it...

SINGLE WHITE FEMALE

Black Hole

"THE BEST THING TO WATCH BEFORE THE GOLDEN GLOBES!" - Dricky Dervais (that British bloke)

Heteronormativity sat on a wall, heteronormativity is a crock of shit

When we do something we love, we do it with all of our heart, energy, and enthusiasm. In contrast, when we perform a duty we are under an obligation to perform (and have not chosen for ourselves)...

WEBBLE WOBBLE ACTIVITY: UNCUT

SAUSAGELICKINGCLO WN LOOKS BACK AT 2011!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

WEBBLE WOBBLE ACTIVITY: UNCUT!

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

CLICK THIS LINK AND COMMENT, LIKE, SHARE ON FACEBOOK, AND RECOMMEND THIS POST FOR A CHANCE TO GET MIDSUMMER NIGHTS RUB AS VIEWER VIDEO ON TOSH.0!!!

Good Things Come in Small Packages

I chose success over love because Im not a fucking moron.

I have been romantically fucked over that has contributed to my recent overwhelming stupefaction of romance and all of the delusions associated. My mother reckons that my bitter approach to romance...

A MIDSUMMER NIGHTS RUB

"What the hell did I just watch?" "Its like staring into an angels asshole!" "You guys are retarded." - critics

Im bitter

THE BEST MAINSTREAM GARBAGE OF 2011 (a very unconvincing blog)!

Let me preface this blog entry by formally coming out as a person with absolutely no musical ‘taste’. I indulge in popular music, enjoy it, and often find myself blasting it on high volume as I put...

YOU AINT NO WEBBLE WOBBLE ft. Drake

CLICK HERE TO LIKE YOU AINT TO WEEBLE WOBBLE ON THE TOSH.0 BLOG!

A girls gotta have her toolbox!

WHATS IN YOUR TOOLBOX?

[NSFW] [UPDATED] #SODOMYTOSH

TWO LOTS! of #SodomyTosh submissions have been received so far and as a result Ive been moist enough to make New Orleans tremble. Is that a levee you hear breaking? SEND THEM IN AND FOR A LIMITED...

[NSFW] #SODOMYTOSH/#TOSH OMY/#TOSHODOMY.0

TWO #SodomyTosh submissions have been received so far and as a result Ive been moist enough to make New Orleans tremble. Is that a levee you hear breaking? SEND THEM IN AND FOR A LIMITED TIME...

#SODOMYTOSH

TWO #SodomyTosh submissions have been received so far and as a result Ive been moist enough to make New Orleans tremble. Is that a levee you hear breaking? SEND THEM IN AND FOR A LIMITED TIME...

CALLING ALL ARTISTS

I would like an artistic interpretation of my imaginary romance with this man: If youve got drawings message me! There is nothing in it for you except the knowledge that I will appreciate your...

I LIKE METH, UNICORNS, AND MAGIC CARPETS

I was under the impression that we as a society were done babbling about useless and irrelevant bullshit and chasing preposterous idealizations. I suppose venturing into the world of academia has...

"Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels"

YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID

Terminal Cancer and Bucket Lists

I recommend getting her a four hour special on the E! network. Wait, does she have four hours? Maybe you should check with her family first. It might be more of a 2 hour and 36 minute special....

Tosh & Fajitas: An Apocalyptic Love Story

A relationship will only be successful if you can imagine being in a zombie apocalypse with your significant other without ever wounding them brutally on purpose, sacrificing them to the horde, or...

HOMOS

I believe in equality. The number one reason why I eat my girlfriend’s pussy is because her pubic hair looks a lot like Jesus and when I pearl dive it feels like I’m kissing his beard. It’s...

The Great Gay Debate

I believe in equality. The number one reason why I eat my girlfriend’s pussy is because her pubic hair looks a lot like Jesus and when I pearl dive it feels like I’m kissing his beard. It’s...

Im making a list of things an enema cant improve...

... and my face is #37

Fat Children

I hate fat children. To be fair, I hate ALL children, but I hate fat children in particular. I just feel that fat children can get away with a lot. Okay, maybe not A LOT, because they probably...

Face Rape

Hey guy in orange shirt, where were you when I needed somebody to intervene? I am not an avid kissing terrorist. I can probably count all of my facial encounters on an amputee’s fingers. My mother...