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MY ROOMMATE IS AN @$$ CLOWN
Dear Roommate,Our new years resolution was to drop twenty pounds each. Why would you do this to us?
Dear Roommate,Yes I was away for one weekend. And yes, I said your cousin can stay in room. And yes u owe me an explantion as to what the hell happened!
Note to self: Never get a girl roommate again. Ever.
Dear Roommate,Hey, thanks for the surprise you left for me when I brought my parents home during graduation weekend. Ive never been happier to move out of the apartment.P.S. you can keep the...
Yo!Dont be telling me youre strapped for cash and cant be throwing in on the electric bill --- I know you buy new kicks EVERY weekend. Quit being a bitch. Either start saving some dough or start...
Dear Dick Roommate, I always explain to people that living with you is like living with the king of the world. You can do no wrong and everything and I mean EVERYTHING is all about you. I remember...
Dear Dick Roomate,(Thank God you arent actually a ROOMmate... Id rather live in the streets than sharing a ROOM with you!) You hacked into my boyfriends computer while we were away and when found...
Dear Roommate, So happy to see you finally bought some coffee for the house this morning, until I dumped out the box and realized all you got was DECAF! Seriously, are you f*#*@ brain dead?! Why...
Dear Roommate, Doesnt matter how much of this shit you chug, nothing is helping that breathe. You eat Doritos all day and rinse once. Heres a tip, ITS NOT THE SAME AS BRUSHING. Dick!
Dear Dick Roommate, You are the roommate from hell!Initially I chose to overlook the disgusting state of your room, the bongs and booze mess everywhere, the complete disregard to the house, the...
Dear Shitmonster, You shit all the time! Guess how I know? The trash can is filled with toilet paper rolls. You claim to use none of it, but the evidence points otherwise! Why lie? Either shit less...
Dear Roommate, Just because you paid $70 bucks for this DOESNT make it Art. I get it, you like smoking weed, now put it back in the closet! Besides, this nice bong doesnt make up for your small...
Dear Roommate,I was cool when you and your boyfriend decided to get the first dog. In fact, I actually liked him. I was even kinda o.k. with you getting the second one. But then you started putting...
Dear Roommate, I overlooked the fact that you are a psycho bitch, and that your fiance is shady and self-absorbed, because me and my boyfriend couldnt make rent on our own and you were a pretty fun...
Dear Roommate,I find it awesome how everyone in the fucking house pays for your share of the rent. Never mind that you have a perfectly good (PAID FOR) car but decided that instead of paying rent,...
Dear Roommate, Maybe I should have seen your psycho bitchiness coming, since you lived alone last year. Maybe I should have hightailed it out of here when you were mad at ME after YOU bought an...
Dear Roommates, Roommate number 1: Youve been here so long that you pretend that were friends. You sit around the house all day drinking yourself stupid. I can hear the shit you say about me behind...
Dear Roommate,You are seriously disgusting. I’m glad that you overheard my friend saying that you smelled because ever since you’ve actually showered daily instead of once a week. Your hair is...
Dear Roommate, Thanks for being such a douche. I really appreciate how you lick & suck your dirty silverware "clean" before throwing it back in our drawer without washing it. Your tongue isn't a...
Dear Roommate,I used to be an atheist but since meeting you I have been forced to believe inGod because you are the fuc*ing devil. In the unfortunate year I have lived withyour ass, you have...
Dear Singing Dick Roommate,NO ONE wants to hear you sing! You are an emo piece of sh*t. Your "lyrics" are lame and confirm what a fuc*ing loser you are. Get a life and grow some...
Dear Roomie,Clean up your damn douche-city. It's the one by your bed. And stop bitching about not "having any clean coffee mugs." I just found you one. Don't wanna clean? Hire a maid-oh, wait,...
Dear Roommate,Yet again you have screwed me over. I thought I was done with you finally, but you have somehow managed to come back. With what, you may ask?Oh come on guess, it's not that hard.Ok,...
Dear Roommate,Grow the fu*k up and gain some maturity so that when my friends come over to visit and need a place to sit, you stop tying your chair to the desk. Why did you tie it with thread? WHY...
Dear Roommate,Ahh, where do I begin? Let's start with when we met, and you were 10s of thousands of dollars in debt. I decided to be cool and invite you out, even offering to pay for your drinks....
Dear Roomate,Thank you for leaving all your f*cking garbage all over your room and bailing on the rent for this month. I truly appreciate it. I also appreciate the fact that you decided you're not...
Dear Roommate,Thanks for the unique opportunity to share an apartment with you. How could I imagine that all your stuff you first put down when we moved in, was really where you wanted it to...
Dear Roommate, (aka "angry face" as everyone calls you behind your back)What is the point of stockpiling all your food in your own room when theres a kitchen? We don't eat your stuff because we...
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