Here I go into the first full week of 2014. This is the week I said I would drag myself out of my cocoon and begin doing things, this is the week I was going to start everything fresh and take charge of my life. Have I done this? Well… I’m going to blame the sub zero temperatures on my inactivity. Too cold to think today, it was much more enjoyable to stay inside under a blanket, and wander around in world for a while.
We were looking for some ice cream… I think we took a wrong turn somewhere…
I thought myselves might like a little outing, but I think we took a wrong turn in our quest for some ice cream and ended up in a rough place. That’s exactly how 2013 felt for me, it started off full of hope and promise, and everything was going along nicely till that wrong turn in November turned the world upside down. I feel as lost and stranded as my avvies, searching for the right road to get out of this dark place I’ve fallen into.
I missed my husband a lot as I pushed his former alt around various sims today. It wasn’t just that it was difficult to coordinate working on two different computers (my laptop can’t deal with two viewers running at once) and I missed having him logged in with me to drive his own av around, it was that I missed sharing the experience with him. A couple of times when I was on my own avvie I would move around to a new spot and cam back to catch sight of his, and for just a moment I could believe he was really there with me, behind the avatar. Even though this was an alt that I designed, even though he hadn’t used this av in a few years, and had never logged in under it with this shape… it was still his, once. It still felt, just a little, like I had him there.
The new year has already brought some good things to me though. Strawberry Singh has started up her Monday Memes again! Lots of yays and happy dances here! Of course a brand new year deserves a New Year Meme, and this new year has a lot of symbolic significance for me. I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting on the past, missing my beautiful husband, and trying to figure out what I’m going to do next. And so off we go on our meme today:
No Karamel Sutra? I guess we’ll take this vanilla, then.
My avvie’s might have found their way out of the rough neighborhood, but I’m still having trouble. I’m not getting the life I wanted this year, so I’ve no choice but to learn how to adjust and adapt, and that will require doing some planning and setting some goals. I have things in mind that I want to work on, both personally and professionally, but I have to be cautious about how big I make my plans. I’ve learned that if I get carried away with lofty goals I’ll quickly become intimidated by them and begin putting things off. I suspect that fighting that urge to put everything off until tomorrow, or next week, is going to be one of the hardest battles I have to fight this year, and the one that I am most in need of winning.
As far as Second Life goes… I’m not sure what I’m going to plan for. I think I’m going to allow Ravensong to retire quietly to her little home and just log in as her when I need to do maintenance work or access her inventory, and I’ll shift my virtual adventures over to me#2, Rhie for short. There’s probably a whole long ramble about identity and avatar choices in there somewhere, but maybe I’ll save that for another post sometime.
Oh, who knows what I’ll do. It’s a whole new year!
We’ll work on those 2014 resolutions tomorrow.
Sleep well, tired little avvies. There’s no telling what adventures are waiting for us.
Places to visit:
Sinners Heaven
SOHO New York