One of the authors I follow, Lisa Arends, recently wrote a post about being grateful for her divorce. You might read that last sentence and think to yourself, why the HELL would I be thankful for my divorce? But I know EXACTLY what Lisa is talking about.

I remember the day I realized that my divorce was something I should be thankful for. I was walking at the park, listening to Flo Rida belt out

Club Can’t Handle Me, and the sun was shining on my face. I looked up to God and thanked him. I thanked him for the realization I had that I deserved better. I thanked him for the pain and the struggles, because through those struggles I found who I truly was.

Lisa’s story is filled with all the things a crazy Lifetime movie is made of–fraud, theft, bigamy, you name it, she faced it. As she paid the debts her ex incurred, rather than drown herself in hopelessness or anger, she chose to combat each painful feeling by writing down something she was grateful for. Lisa shares, “And it turns out that gratitude was the key to releasing me from the prison of my past. It happened. It altered me. But it does not control me. You cannot always change your circumstances, but you can always change your response. Gratitude is a choice you can always make.”

I agree 4,000%. Through my pain, I have experienced new things. Some of the things I’m truly, very grateful for:

1. Seeing what is truly important to me in a relationship and in a husband. My marriage at the time didn’t meet those needs.
2. I can relax and look deeply into who I am. In my first marriage, I was a pleaser (picture Julia Roberts in Runaway Bride) and I never truly knew Lori. I now know me–and I adore me.
3. I now know what a true, vulnerable, deep-loving marriage really is.
4. Sex–so THAT’s what all the hub-bub is about. I am confident, secure in who I am sexually, and I enjoy it…very much! ;)
5. I now see that money doesn’t equal security. It doesn’t keep you warm at night. It doesn’t tell you it loves you. It’s just money.
6. My children don’t live in a home every day with an unhappy, unhealthy person who enjoys throwing jabs and criticisms.
7. Learning that “perfect life” means not living or growing. In my home we make mistakes. And that’s okay.
8. The wonderful people I’ve met and encountered in my “new life.” And my new family I belong to. They are amazing!
9. Being able to forgive a person, the person who was supposed to love and protect me, who hurt me deeply. Learning to forgive helped me grow exponentially.
10. Figuring out that life is meant to be experienced. It’s not a game you get good at or a “status quo” or to keep up with an image. I love trying new things and experiencing life.

Walking through the storm gets you wet. But if you can learn to see the growth around you, and stick around until the sun comes out, you will see amazing, wonderful things!