Are you supposed to be blonde?

So growing up, I always struggled with which side of the family I fit in with most. My dad is white and my mom is Filipino (born and raised in the Philippines). Most of my dad’s family lives in California so we would spend holidays with them and what not. My mom’s brother and his wife live in Southern California. So growing up, I’d get to be with both sides of the family. On one side we have my dad’s family, who for the most part have light hair/blue eyes, and on the other side you have my mom’s family, who all speak Tagalog (which thanks to my mom, I don’t). So I didn’t really “fit in” with either side.

Growing up as a child, I remember thinking to myself “I wish I just looked like my cousins”. Someone once asked when they saw a picture of me with my dad’s side, “are you supposed to be blonde?”. Things like that used to bother me because I already felt like I didn’t belong. When I am with my mom’s side, they always speak Tagalog and I just sit there pretending to follow along, although everyone knows I don’t understand. It was always an internal struggle… am I white or am I Filipino? As I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to realize that they are my family and no matter what I look like, they are always going to be my family. I actually like being half white and half Filipino.

I am sure a lot of people have felt this way in some form. I don’t think I can name 5 people who I know who are 100% anything. Nowaways, most people are mixed. I know that my future children will be mixed, and I hope to help them understand that family is family and will always love you.