The insights shared by my Mom are my precious life long learning’s

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As I look back into my life, I feel the learning’s/lessons imparted by my first Mentor, My Mom, have been the golden lessons that no school can teach me.

There are multiple instances in my life, which remind me of my mom’s dedication & expert advice. She always advises me to deviate my thoughts from negative things or failures & focus on positive things or learnings. She was a firm believer that rather than wasting energy on setbacks we should spend our energy on seeing the brighter side. She jokes frequently that my blood group of ‘B ve’ should automatically make me think positive always by default. Frankly, till today I find it difficult to do it sometimes. But then I remember some instances of my childhood and all my negative thoughts are vaporized.

I have been a bright student for most of my carrier. It is mainly due to the utmost focus my parents had on me. She believed that I should enjoy my studies and was my mentor/teacher. But in one of the end term exams I failed drastically. I believed in not giving excuses for failure even though some excuses were behind my control.

So the excuse for this bad performance in end term was my sickness. My sickness had cost me ¾th of the time before the end term. When the results were out, I was devastated. I was feeling low. As we were returning back from school, my mother reminded me that in short span what I had achieved was much better than others. All her logic to convince me could not divert my thoughts.

Parallely my friends were pulling my legs for my low performance. Everybody knew the reason for it, but still they wanted to test my patience I guess. I was getting more irritated. My mom at that moment started telling my friends that I am actually a class topper. As her words fell into my ears, I was shocked at her statement.

She continued “In just ¼ of the time he has achieved 80%. So just imagine what would have happened if we had used ¾th of time. He would have crossed 100%”

My friends started giggling and I felt it was an unwarranted discussion that my mom was doing. I felt my mom was getting herself insulted as her whole argument had no proper logic. One of my friends spoke “Aunty. We can never score more than 100%” and he started laughing.

It was as if they were making the mockery of my mom. I was annoyed at them. Then it was moms turn to drop the bomb

“Beta, so you know that you cannot cross 100%. Good. Then you should also know that one week of study cannot give you top grades”

“You know that he hardly studied for these exams. You should console him & not pull his legs”

“Isn’t that what you should do since you are his good friends?”

I felt my mom was getting involved in an unnecessary discussion and my friends were in no mood to listen to her Gyan.

However my friends had a change of heart and they seemed too able to process my mother’s learnings. I was not able to. Besides I also felt that my mom was over-reacting.

As the day ended, me & my friends were chit chatting forgetting our whole day’s conversation. Isn’t that how friends are J ?

But I never realized that my mom had made her point of “avoid thinking of failures and think about improving” by diverting my attention.

When I recollect that day, we (I and my friends) still remember it. But for my mom that was just one of the days, when she was offering an important lesson to me. She has been an ideal mentor to me who believed in walking the talk. Whatever she told me she also made sure she applied it in her life. As I grew older, she used to actually test my abilities by asking advices on situations. Wherever she felt I was deviating from some of her learning’s, she gave me a different perspective by speaking about pros & cons of each thought.

Another key learning that I wanted to share is the fundamental of accepting a mistake/shortcoming without explaining the causes that led to it. Though I still have reservations about this philosophy, I admire it because a mistake is a mistake. All excuses that lead to the mistake cannot correct the mistake that occurred. The excuses are ways to pacify our heart or our superiors. Rather we should focus on avoiding that mistake/shortcoming next time.

Can anyone be a better mentor than my Mom? For me no one has reached that level. I am thankful to god for offering me such a sweet angel as a mentor. Mom I love you.

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