Ryan Fitzgibbon is the man behind Hello Mr. magazine. A graphic designer by trade and an independent publisher by choice and dedication, he works out of a shared office space in Greenpoint, Brooklyn.

It’s interesting to think about my experiences with gay media, particularly magazines, even just a few short years ago. I distinctly remember picking up a copy of…I think Attitude? And flipping through that, whatever else was in it, the only snippet of text I remember is some flippant article that basically told me, “In gay years you’re dead.” I was twenty-one at the time. I had barely come out of the closet. It was one of my first experiences with what some might call ‘gay culture’. I was young and alone and it was all I had because I was too afraid to ask or look for anything else. I didn't think it was funny, I thought it was kind of terrifying—and it obviously made a lasting impression. At the time it really affected my understanding of gay men and what it meant to be gay. That’s something I still struggle with, the idea of what it “means” to be gay, which is why I wanted to have the following conversation with Ryan.

FP: Your magazine seems to offer readers this idea that they can be a part of something that’s different from the norm, or the norm for popular gay culture. Do you see it as filling a niche?

RF: More than anything, Hello Mr. is a platform to allow people to express their own experiences. We’re not trying to replace the current image of ‘What is a happy gay couple?’ or ‘This is gay pride’, we just want to reflect a more multifaceted experience. There are some really loyal fans because it has provided an evolved and expanded idea of what it means to be gay. It’s an opportunity to sit alongside what’s come before. Stereotypes are not going away—there’s nothing wrong with them existing and there’s truth in them. But what about the middle ground? Or the other facets that haven’t been explored?

FP: This reminds me a bit of #banbossy and the backlash that caused, at least on Twitter. The idea that feminism isn’t one thing versus the other, not one part of your community or peer group or self pitted against the other, but just the ability to be more. It’s less about what you can’t or shouldn’t be and more about realizing that you can really be anything, no matter what, and that no one can or should dictate the terms on which you live your own life. How did you find the stories for the magazine? The contributors?

RF: I had a core group going into this of maybe 5-10 people, so I knew I had about 20% of the first issue's content. When I launched the Kickstarter campaign I simultaneously put out an open call for submissions. In the same way that we were talking about popular media prescribing (a gay narrative), I didn’t feel comfortable prescribing a structure or saying what kind of articles I wanted. I had some themes and some topics and some people I really wanted to talk to, but it wasn’t so structured that I knew what my cover was going to be. And to be honest I’m a month away from putting issue three to bed and I don’t know what that cover will be. It’s everyone’s first question, but for me I just want to be inspired by the content and what comes in and then I can put it all in order. For the first issue it made sense for the content to be presented in this coming-of-age arc that establishes where we are and who we are. By the final chapter it’s about wanting something more, and wanting to belong to something bigger that we’ve helped create. That narrative sort of establishes Hello Mr. as part of this new community.

FP: So it’s almost like a book?

RF: That very naturally and organically happened because of the tone and themes of the content I received. It felt so right to do it that way because when I started this I didn’t know if there would be an issue two. So it felt right…

FP: Just in case.

RF: When issue two came along there were definite themes and little groupings, but it didn’t feel as natural to put it in those categories; it was much more loose. In general the magazine is more of a literary journal. I’ve always described it as a collection of essays and personal narratives because (I don't want to) put myself into a category of publications that has to keep up with trends and news. That was another very intentional decision, that issue one didn’t have any ads as it was grassroots funded. I wanted it to be pure concept, just my vision for it. Then issue two came along and luckily there were enough resources from the sales of issue one—the Kickstarter funds were depleted almost immediately—but issue one sold really well and I could fund the second issue. I was seeking some advertisers but only went with one; I’m not going to work with any advertiser who wants to give me money. I only want to align myself with people who share similar values and this expanded vision of masculinity. For a men’s magazine it’s a very tricky thing to get into.

FP: You don’t want a ton of underwear ads and ads for gay cruises?

RF: We go to these very expected clichés very quickly. Issue three will have some ads and they’ve all been really great partnerships, relationships we’ve built at events and outside the publication. It’s more than just sticking ads in a book.

“It’s about wanting something more, and wanting to belong to something bigger that we’ve helped create.”

FP: I hadn’t necessarily thought of that, that you could survive primarily on newsstand sales in this day and age.

RF: It also helps that I’m a one-man team. But a lot of people cringe at the issue price—twenty dollars. I think larger titles did such a disservice to the industry by putting a lot of ads in and stripping their prices down. And their subscription models…it’s just really hard to come back from that and grapple with people’s mindset—that magazines should be cheap and I should pick them up at the airport and throw them out after my flight. But this is produced at a much higher quality. I understand how people put it in the same camp (as mass titles) and expect the same thing, but I’m trying to deliver something completely different.

FP: Obviously the magazine is a beautiful physical object, but you’ve also talked about it as a platform and part of a community. What’s your conception of what Hello Mr. really is? What do you want from creating this brand? Do you plan to expand?

RF: From the get-go I’ve said it’s more than a magazine; it’s a community of likeminded men who feel like they haven’t found a place (in popular gay media). It’s much more about community and that shared value system. Experimenting with events and meet-ups allows a much more tangible experience of this anti-online dating world where you can meet people through…

FP: Living?

RF: Well, living and shared interests that are elevated from just swiping left and right. I don’t know where it’s going to go, but I do feel like with all the apps that we have available to us there’s something we’re losing.

FP: So you’re trying to facilitate human contact? Literally helping people reach out and say hello?

RF: My favorite thing of late has been finding or having people send me screenshots of people whose dating profiles include Hello Mr., which is crazy to me. They’re covering their face with it or wearing their Hello Love shirt. Having the magazine act as a symbol or metaphor in their profile that identifies who they are has been…it’s been really weird for me to see that. It says a lot I think. To know that we can have a conversation that levels the playing field. That’s the dream, right? You meet someone at a café who’s reading your favorite magazine. There’s something in the uniqueness and in the smallness of Hello Mr. that makes it much easier for people to engage with. At the end of the day, it’s just about creating a shared set of values so that young gays can feel like they’ll have an easier time. I had a writer from the first issue email me and say, “I haven’t spoken to my father in three years, but my mom showed him my article and he called me last night.” Hello Mr. is accessible—it’s mainstream. That’s such a taboo word, to mainstream something. But who we are and our uniqueness or our campness or whatever makes us gay—that’s not going anywhere. We’re not going to become some robotic straight-acting community. But in order to…

FP: Bridge?

RF: I was going to say penetrate, but, yeah—in order to get into the consciousness I feel like there’s something we have to give to meet people halfway and start those conversations. So that’s another goal is to create those opportunities (for dialogue) with people outside of the community. It’s about men who date men and not for men who date men because there are plenty of people who relate to it outside of just us.

Hello Mr. magazine is a biannual publication; issue 02 is available now.

“At the end of the day it’s just about creating a shared set of values.”