A wish for you POND SCUM.
I have a small wish for the pond scum who stole my husband's bicycle.
If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen that my parents are currently in town and we have been showing them ALL of London. (To give you an idea of "rush-hour-tourist" we have jam packed Buckingham Palace, Camden, Borough Market, Leicester Square, Soho, M&M store, Shoreditch, Spitalfields, SouthBank, The Love Festival, Anthropologie, Fortnum and Mason, Liberty's of London, Oxford Street, Hamleys, Hyde Park, Paddington, Ladurée Maison, The Dog and Fox, Several Whole Food Markets and Wimbledon High street in three days.)
Warr and I decided a while ago to take them to one of our favourite local Sushi joints in South Wimbledon on Monday evening.
Monday came and it had been a day of "joking around"
Warr: What time should I meet you for dinner at the Sushi place?
Me: Oh! Sorry. No. Change of plans - we went there for lunch while you were working, soz! *jokes!*
As we came around the corner to meet Warr at the restaurant -
*Warr shaking his head* "No, sorry - it's closed!" *jokes!*
But we headed into the (open) restaurant after Warr had chained up his bike to a lamp post -
and had the most DELISH sushi dinner with a good lashing of wine.
At the end of the dinner, my dad went out first and exclaimed -
"Warren!? Where is your bike?!"
Warr: Haha.... good one!
The Dad: No. Really.
And that my friends, is how husband's bike was stolen right out from under our noses (3 metres away) outside a restaurant in South Wimbledon. And I had to watch The Warr walk home up the hill with his sad helmet in his sad hands - which is a very sad thing for a wife to watch.
For those of you who know the recent story of THE HUSBAND AND THE SQUIRREL, I would like to take this opportunity to wish the thieving CRETINS who stole Warren's bicycle - THE PLAGUE OF TEN THOUSAND RABID SQUIRRELS upon ALL YOUR HOUSES.
That is freaking some RABID SQUIRREL BLOOD coming out the EYE to ATTACK YOU.
and YOU DESERVE IT.
Ain't NOBODY messes with my Warren without getting a VERY rabid plague of squirrels directly to their face.
If you are reading this bicycle cretin-thief and would like to RETURN WHAT DOES NOT BELONG TO YOU,
you can call me on 0800-U-SUCK.
* * * * *
In other news, I have been interviewed over on the lovely Made By Molu's blog - go take a peek! I love this girl!
xxx
