10 ideas | Things to ask your child about their day

“How was school today?” you ask brightly.

“Good!” your daughter answers.

“I can’t remember,” your son mutters.

In homes across Australia and, let’s face it, the entire world, this is the scenario being played out. When our kids get home from school we are like eager puppies bouncing around them and they are like fellow puppies, let off the leash and racing away.

A vague question like “how was school today?” just becomes part of the getting-home-from-school ritual. A glass of milk, a quick “dunno” and they’re out the door. If we really want to reconnect with them and get to know them through their day, we’ve got to be clever with our questioning.

The trick is to not sound too detective-like. You don’t want to appear over-eager or raise their suspicions – too many questions makes them think you’re fishing for something to get them in trouble over (or is that just my lot?). We need questions that are specific but open-ended enough to result in an answer that the kids themselves are interested in.

“Did” questions can often result in a “yes” or “no” answer (Did you enjoy your lunch? Did you play with anyone new?). “What” questions are always good (What did you most enjoy at lunchtime?). Ask questions that ask for a description of their world and hopefully open up a genuine conversation.

When they get home from school today, here are 10 conversation starters that will hopefully spark their interest.

1. What was the funniest thing you heard all day?
2. What was your favourite thing that happened today?
3. Did your teacher get cross today? What happened?
4. What subject was the most interesting today?
5. Was anyone away today? Did that make the day different?
6. What was something new you read today?
7. What happened today that you wish hadn’t happened?
8. What did you enjoy most for lunch today?
9. What are you learning about in science?
10. Did anyone do something nice for you today? Did you do something nice back?

And a bonus question that is always absolutely lovely to ask:

What are you looking forward to tomorrow?

Remember that a conversation is a two-way street. You can open up your questions with an anecdote from you own day. “I laughed so much today when I dropped my shopping all over the kitchen floor… what made you laugh a lot today?” kind of thing. Actually, I didn’t laugh at all when I dropped the shopping all over the kitchen floor today (eggs!), but maybe I should have…

Keep the conversation going and maybe, just maybe, you’ll actually get to know the answer to “how was school today?”

What’s your after-school ritual with your children?

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