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The Heart’s Game

by Christa McHugh
July 5, 2014 · Christa McHugh

Historical: EuropeanRomance

I hate writing negative reviews. In a perfect world, I’d let the other Bitches bring the snark and I’d gambol about throwing glitter in the air and saying, “OMG you have to read this book it is totes adorbs!” Tragically, sometimes I have to bring the pain. It is my sad duty to tell you that The Heart’s Game is a terrible book in which terrible people do terrible things as unrealistically as possible. Spoilers ahead.

The Heart’s Game is about a woman named Jenny. Her parents immigrated to the US from Vietnam and she became an robotics engineer (her father is also an engineer). Jenny agreed to be a surrogate parent for her brother and her brother’s husband. Right after she finds out she’s pregnant with their baby, she goes to San Diego Comic-Con with the goal of having casual sex. She never has casual sex before, and in fact apparently has never had an orgasm other than with a vibrator. So she dresses up as Sailor Moon and pads her bra, and picks up a cute guy dressed as Mal Reynolds. They have great, orgasmic sex, but the last time they have sex the condom breaks. She tells him they can’t date because “it’s complicated” and heads off into the night, saying, “Remember, what happens at Comic-Con stays at Comic-Con.”

But of course, by WILD COINCIDENCE, when she gets back to town and goes to gaming night, there’s the guy! His name is Dan, he’s a surgeon, and he just joined the group! He wants to date! She says no! She consents, frequently, to casual sex, while he pushes for a relationship. He pushes literally – he has a tendency to grab her face and her arm to keep her from running off.

That’s not a huge red flag at all, nooo sireeee.

Jenny still doesn’t tell anyone she’s pregnant, so Dan doesn’t know why she’s avoiding a relationship. I find this confusing, because it’s not like Jenny is trying to keep the pregnancy secret forever – is she? She’s not going into hiding for nine months, and she’s not planning to leave the game or everyone she’s friends with, so doesn’t she think that the pregnancy will eventually become obvious? Of course some people keep a pregnancy secret in the early stages because they might miscarry, but Jenny’s motive seems to be embarrassment.

Anyway, eventually Dan finds out that Jenny is pregnant (I know this will shock you, but there’s ANOTHER COINCIDENCE involved).

Here’s how the big misunderstanding unfolds: she says, “What if it isn’t your baby” and he indicates that as long as she hasn’t seen anyone since Comic-Con he doesn’t care, which could be interpreted as “Obviously it is my baby because of timing” or “It might be someone else’s but as long as they are out of the picture I don’t care about it.”

Later, when he’s falling asleep she tells him (softly) that it’s not his baby, and he, half asleep, goes, “Mmmm” and she’s all, yay problem solved. Which means a) worst case scenario is that he missed the part where it’s not his baby, and b) best case scenario, he realizes it’s not his baby but she’s given him every indication that she’s keeping the baby, and he can be part of the baby’s life, because she never tells him about the surrogacy. The surrogacy remains a secret even when he takes her to Thanksgiving dinner at his parents, which means that she is not only breaking his heart but the hearts of all his relatives. She allows Dan’s mom to think that she is getting a grandchild. This is a thing that happens.

Of course Dan was assuming the baby is his, because it turns out that if you want to impart crucial information to your partner you should do it when they are awake. Of course he finds out that the baby is not his because of…wait for it…another coincidence. He assumes she was cheating on him. See, once he dated a female geek, and she cheated on him, so he decided that even though he’s a geek he must never date a female geek again because they are all cheating sluts. He made an exception for Jenny and look what happened! She cheated!

When Dan realizes she didn’t cheat, he becomes completely apologetic and noble. He is a white knight who wants to shower her with affection even though she lied by omission in the worst possible way, thus disappointing not only him but also his entire family. She is glad for the company of her white knight, even though he is physically and emotionally controlling and believes that all gaming women (except her) are lying scumbags.

Here are some other things about this book that made me furious:

1. The depictions of geek culture are shallow.

For example, if you are going have any part of your book set in San Diego Comic-Con., why wouldn’t you try to convey the feel of SDCC to your readers? It’s a neat place! It’s a crazy place! I’m not saying that the book needs to chronicle every panel, but it ought to have a sense of how busy and overwhelming the convention is. The characters need an excuse to come together (no pun intended) in a place that is sufficiently removed from their everyday lives that they can act without fear of consequence. SDCC works just fine for that, but so does Vegas, or Reno, or any hotel bar. It’s such a waste to set the story at SDCC and leave out everything about SDCC except the fact that many people stay in hotels. Honestly, as written, it just sounds like an excuse to describe a Sailor Moon cosplay. (For examples of books that do indicate what large conventions are like I recommend One Con Glory by Sarah Kuhn (a romance), and The Last Stand of the California Browncoats by Mira Grant (so very much not a romance but sooo wonderful).

When people treat geek culture in a paint-by-numbers way, it’s sloppy at best and exploitative at worst. I liked it that the characters were all professionals with great social skills. That’s a nice change from the common depiction of geeks as awkward outcasts. However, all the descriptions of what the characters were doing rang false, as though arbitrary things were being plugged into the story randomly to convince us that these characters are geeks. For example, in case you miss that fact that the characters are geeks, Jenny says, “What can I say, I’m a geek!” approximately one hundred times.

2. “She would never get an abortion.”

Dan says this early on, to a friend who suggests that maybe Jenny didn’t mention the pregnancy because she’s planning to get an abortion. There are people who would never choose an abortion. Sometimes this is because of their cultural or religious beliefs, or because of lack of access to safe services, or because they want a baby. But Dan doesn’t mention any of this as context, nor do we have any reason to assume any of this from what we know of Jenny . I am left with the assumption that Dan thinks Jenny would never get an abortion because she’s such a great person. He’s shocked and appalled at the mere suggestion that Jenny would every consider such a thing.

What a self-righteous asshole.

3. The hero is a controlling misogynist who becomes a white knight for no reason.

He grabs Jenny every time he wants her attention. He refers to his past relationships as one’s in which “he had all the power.” He changes into a supportive guy but there’s no character development – it’s like a switch is thrown and now he’s supportive. Don’t even get me started on how he won’t date a geek ‘cause we ‘re all hoes.

On top of his rather abusive behavior towards Jenny, Dan is a creep to his family. He whines about being asked to call his brother, who is bi-polar and who just lost his best friend to a tragic death, and when his grieving brother is sarcastic, Dan refers to him as “a friggin’ asshole” and says, “He just needs to get laid.”

You could make a very compelling family drama about someone who’s always asked to help a sibling who won’t help himself, and who resents being in that role. That’s hinted at here, but it’s not developed enough beforehand, so Dan comes off looking like a completely self-centered jerk. Then the relationship doesn’t develop (I assume the brother will be getting his own book) so we are left with a medical doctor (Dan) whose cure for depression and grief is “getting laid” and who never develops a greater sense of understanding or compassion, at least, not in this book. He just drops this incredibly offensive, insensitive bomb and moves on.

4. The heroine is dishonest and selfish.

I already mentioned how she contrives a big secret and how she then lies by omission to Dan, letting him get excited about being a father even though she knows that’s not gonna happen. I can’t possibly add to this. She does a wonderful thing in being her brother’s surrogate but she’s an enormous jerk through the whole rest of the book.

5. There’s no follow up regarding the baby.

The brother whisks the baby off immediately after birth, and then shows her to Jenny for a few minutes later, and that’s the last we hear. A lot of the book is about Jenny’s ambivalent feelings about her pregnancy. One of the few aspects of the book that was realistic is that she becomes attached to the baby even though she knows she won’t be raising the baby, but she still honors the surrogacy by giving the baby to her brother after the birth.

Since this is a huge part of her emotional arc, it would make sense to at least mention the terms of the surrogacy arrangement. These people spend time together- what’s Jenny’s relationship to the baby like? As the baby grows up, will she know Jenny is the birth mom or is it a closed adoption? Will Jenny be “Aunt Jenny?” How does she feel about her relationship to her brother and to the baby after the baby is born? Part of the book is set a year after the baby is born, so some follow-up would not be out of place given the impact of the pregnancy on the plot.

This book had all the ingredients for my personal brand of book crack. A female protagonist of color, who is a robotics engineer? San Diego Comic-Con? How could I not adore this book? It turns out that having two characters who are reprehensible can ruin anything for me, even SDCC. The writing is fine in terms of language (hence the “D” grade). It’s not one of those books that’s full of typos. It’s also not one of those books that’s so insane that it’s a fun WTF read. It’s just too superficial and features terrible people doing terrible things. So disappointing.