#4// A LITTLE ABOUT THE GRAD STUDENT.
#4//A LITTLE ABOUT THE GRAD STUDENT.
Who: The Grad Student.
How we met: Online. Of course, sigh. Still working on talking to all those other people out there in the real world.
When: Early morning, sometime back in October.
Where: A cafe on campus.
What: Both of us brought our own mugs for refillable coffee. Awww, that was a cute moment.
First Impressions: I’ve added a new category below….
Swoonworthy Scale: 0/10.
I now firmly believe that chemistry is one of those things we can’t really pinpoint. The Grad Student was tall and outdoorsy and going to graduate school for Natural Resources (which would normally attract me like a bear to a jar of honey), but there was zero chemistry. I can’t even explain it, but there was just no spark whatsoever.
Beginning: I was not nervous and he was sweating. Literally dripping with sweat, and I felt bad because I know it’s nerve-wracking to meet up with strangers. (I can’t imagine battling the sweaty nerves over a hot beverage, instead of a cold beer either. Shudder.) I’ve been there, and it’s hard, but now I know why no one contacted me those first couple of dates. It’s not sexy.
Conversation: The Grad Student seemed a little shy, and I knew this was no love match within the first two minutes, but we shared the same camera and had a good conversation about photography. And it was actually fun to talk about apertures and lenses and all that, but not fun enough for me to want to linger.
Ending: We only chatted for about 30 minutes because I was leaving for New Orleans later that afternoon and had run errands and finish some things for work. I went down to City Market to buy apple cider doughnuts to take to friends in Louisiana afterwards, and I must say, there’s nothing like buying a big bag of fresh apple cider doughnuts to move on from a sparkless coffee date. I may have eaten two or three just in my car.
Post-Date: He did follow-up with an e-mail, asking me to see a movie over the weekend.
I was in New Orleans – catching up with friends, drinking too much, laughing too much, and texting crazy date #5 too much – so I couldn’t go even if I wanted to. Which I didn’t. I ended up writing a short e-mail back once I returned. I must have sounded nice, but disinterested enough that he never contacted me again.
Thoughts: I know it’s better to be direct, but so little of us actually do it in real life, and it can be hard to do in the midst of a real situation. You’re rejecting a person that you hardly know. It can seem harsh. I think that’s why there’s this new term, called “ghosting,” whereby people just stop talking and vanish. I’ve been on both sides and it’s a weird art.
Right now: Okay, yesterday morning I managed to shock myself with an ancient and broken – albeit unbeknownst to me – hair dryer. It was such a bad shock, and after freaking myself out googling “treatment for shock” I called 911. I wanted to just inquire about what I should do because I felt like I just tasered myself, and that’s never happened to me before, and all of a sudden like 8 people are in my place while I’m in a robe from freshman year of college. YES! I’m okay, but make sure y’all are operating hair dryers in good condition. To celebrate life, I’m baking this rainbow-ish, Funfetti bundt cake right now.
(It’s actually for a student workshop tomorrow.)
This weekend: I have some work to catch up on, but some fun things mixed in there. Watch the Opening Ceremony. Go swimming. Master
