Can we have a career, motherhood and success? Can we have it all?

In todays culture women are waiting to have children. We are raised to be independent, our mother taught us to pursue a career. We are told to follow our dreams and to never be dependent of a man.

We are doing what we were told. Today’s woman is independent and self reliant. We are entrepreneurs, executives, and medical professionals. We are enjoying our 20′s and coming into our own in our 30′s. The natural progression is marriage and children. Some woman are foregoing marriage aiming straight for motherhood.


Love in the City is a reality show on OWN Network. The story line is about four best friends, OWN shines a spotlight on professional women approaching 40. A cast member in particular, Kiyah is turning 40. Kiyah is an accomplished celebrity hair stylist who is yearning for “Mommyhood”. Kiyah is single and dating. During an episode Kiyah visit a doctor to confirm that she is fertile and able to have children. Kiyah is dating, but not in a serious relationship. She tries to encourage a guy she’s seeing to father her child. He’s not interested, so Kiyah is stuck in a dilemma.

I personally believe this is a serious problem for women. My feelings are based on my own experience. I married and had my children young. I have always been ambitious, like other women today my mother encouraged me to obtain an education and pursue my career. But love intervened, one child and then a second. I worked in corporate America, but because I put my children first my success was limited. I know we are told we can have it all, but we can’t.

Allow me to share a quick story. I worked as a Business Development rep for a fortune 500 company. We would have these sales calls, I remember we had a call about sales ranking. One of the top girls came in third and she said that is only because I had a baby last year. Hearing those words made me cringe inside. I have always been competitive, but the longer I worked in corporate the sooner I realized my family was more important than those accolades.

When I think of Kiyah, I feel envy and sympathy at the same time. I see Kiyah as this jetsetting professional with the world at her feet. I am sure that feels so rewarding, but honestly, I wouldn’t trade my children for any amount of success in the world. If you are a mom, there is a good chance you know exactly the feeling I am describing. I still yearn for that same level of success. I guess you say, “well you can still have it”. Yes, I can still strive for that success, but let me warn you, there is a difference between 25 and 45. At 25 you can work endless hours without rest and be on your A game, at 45 you are lucky if you can work a 10 hour day and be able to hold a conversation with your spouse at night in bed. At 25 you are bright eyed and bushy tailed. At 45 you are jaded and cynical for all the wrongs you experienced.

I believe that everything happens in divine order, but I can’t help but to think about the Kiyah’s in the worlds. The women who followed the rules but may not have the joy of holding their baby for the first time. The joy you feel when your child does something to make you proud, like straight A’s or surprising you with a handmade mother’s day gift. It is priceless…

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The post Can we have a career, motherhood and success? Can we have it all? appeared first on GirlsBestFriendandCoBlog.

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