Stop Doing These Things

1) Stop airing dirty laundry on social media. It’s tacky and pointless. Every sensible adult realizes that there are two sides to every story. However, that doesn’t mean you have to tell yours on Facebook.
2) Try not to be the wet blanket of your news feed, no matter how terrible your life is. It’s a real bummer and it forces friends and family to act like they care, which can make them uncomfortable. If you must at least liven it up with some emoji or creative punctuation.

3) Stop posting about body acceptance by simultaneously bashing other body types. Some "real" ladies have curves, some don't, some have big butts and some don't. Some are very thin or very buff and some aren't. Some ladies were born with boy parts and only became ladies later! It's a crazy world!! But it's all good so calm down and be nice.
4) Stop sharing Matt Walsh blog posts. Seriously. He's the worst.
5) Stop sending me game requests on Facebook. Don't get me wrong, I love games. My favorite being Cards Against Humanity: The Real Life Edition wherein you just always say the terrible things you're thinking and no one sends you Evites anymore. However, I will never want to play Candy Crush or Harvest Your Loneliness or whatever other games Facebook offers.
6) Stop talking about your gluten sensitivity. You know who's sensitive about gluten? People with Celiac disease. And probably Gwyneth Paltrow. I'm pretty sure she eats frozen mink tears and kale chips exclusively.
7) Stop trying to sell me shit and/or recruit me to peddle your shit.

8) Stop reading articles that consist of asinine guidelines some random blogger made up. “Things You Should Do In Your Thirties!” “Things You Should Stop Doing in Your Twenties!” "Stop Doing These Things!" (LOL too late you already read it, suckerrrr.) We’re all individuals with dynamic and complicated lives. There is no definitive guide for when or how we should do things. I once read that after thirty a woman should start throwing dinner parties. I tried that but my guests just pushed their microwaved hotdogs around their plates and nobody even touched the sour licorice fountain. It was a disaster. What works for one doesn't work for all. So find what works for you and do that.