Well I'm Not A Plumber.

So I called the Daddy-o, and I was all,
"Hey Daddy-o, um, remember how I said I was going to be all independent this year?"
Daddy-o: "Um, yeah. You're an 'adult', right?"
"Right. So on that note. . . I decided to replace my kitchen faucet, and the Lowe's guy on youtube says it's, and I quote, 'one of the easiest upgrades you can make to a house', and I'm ABOUT READY TO TEAR MY HAIR OUT."
Note to self: the hot water doesn't really fully turn off, we own waaaay too many cleaners, and there's a spilled bottle of blue dishwasher crap down there.

You know, switching out a faucet could be easy. Would be easy. Should be easy. Except you're trying to do it all in this disgusting, dank, cramped space and you're dropping crescent wrenches on your head.

And these weird little things sticking out from the bottom of the sink under there? Their sole purpose is to gouge you in the head.
I was like a contortionist under there trying to get to everything. I was on my haunches, I was on my side, I was on my back, and I just kept thinking about this quote from Clue over and over:
"Oh my. Nobody can get into that position."
(Sure they can. I'll show you.)
Or from Tangled:
"You should know, that this is the strangest thing I have ever done!"
I swear, the video showed this quick changeroo of faucets like it was this 10 minute project, and I swear, I started at 9 am and was doing final tightenings at 5pm. Keeping in mind that I did take many swear/throw tools/go to Lowe's for new hoses/utter frustration breaks. Right now I cannot think of a project more frustrating then this one. I really can't.
Ew.

It's like an alien. It's like those metal squidees on The Matrix.
Once, Jeffro replaced both our master bath faucets, and it took him the entire day. And I remember thinking, "Sheesh, man. What is taking so long?"
Words. Eaten.

I went white again. I have white appliances and a white sink. It makes sense. It gives me a feeling of control in a world full of chaos. Plus they're half the price of metal ones, and that seals the deal.
Just so we're clear, I hope to never, ever ever ever do a plumbing project again. Because they suck.

Dang it man, I had to clean my sink and my window for this picture. Not that you can tell. But the things I do for this blog.