Gracey Pankey

My Favorite Fashion Week Trends


I've been meaning to write this post for the past month, but I figure today is as good a day as any to talk about my favorite trends from the Fall/Winter 2014 Fashion Shows.

Sexy Rickets

First up we have a look I like to call sexy rickets. I've personally always loved the look of bow legs, but my parents couldn't afford a horse and it's too late to dedicate years to malnutrition and the eventually bowing of my poor, malnourished bones. Happily, the boots from Alexander Wang's Fall 2014 Ready to Wear line does the work for you, giving you the illusion of bow legs without the actual disfigurement. Win win!




Hello, Kitty

Apparently 2014, like 2013, is going to be the Year of the Crotch. If you're an exhibitionist, this is your year. Several designers sent down looks that flash, embellish and otherwise present your lady bits in ways that allow any passerby to say hello to your kitty without even having to know your name! We have the floral faux merkin, the always-subtle crotch window, and the otherwise modest dress cut up to your hip bones. If you're proud of your waxer and want to show off their fine, fine work, this trend is for you.




The Advertorial

This is one of the more altruistic trends (although, I guess Hello, Kitty is pretty altruistic too depending on where you wear it) to come down the runway. Every year, companies spend millions of dollars on advertising and they may not ever recoup those monies in revenue. That's where designers like Jeremy Scott for Moschino and Anya Hindmarch come in. They've come up with a way to allow you, the consumer, to advertise for your favorite beer/chocolate/chips/cereal without the company having to pay a dime. No, instead, you, the consumer, buy your favorite advertorial piece and the company gets free advertising. If this catches on, we can save those poor companies millions of dollars a year!




Pantaloonacy

Needless to say, my thighs are all over this trend. They believe that every woman should have thighs the size of small countries and with these pants, everyone can. Not only do they make your hips, thighs and derriere larger, they're perfect for pairing with that newsboy cap you've been itching to wear!




Futuristic Artists' Commune

If there is anything my years of watching futuristic films have taught me, it's that we'll all be wearing soft, shapeless, soothing layers of non-colors in the future. Well, for several designers, the future is now. And it's taking place in an artists' commune. Just look at these and tell me they wouldn't be equally perfect for years of deep sleep as you travel to your home on Glorgon-9 and for painting the seven moons of Glorgon-9 once you get there and join your kibbutz. Right? Right.



April Fools! These are, obviously, some of the trends I found to be the most ridiculous for Fall 2014. I'd totally take that striped Marc Jacobs bag though. I'm just sayin.'

Happy Monday, All!

Gracey

Note: All images via nymag.com
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