on knowing your identity.

(…can you tell this is going to be a bit of a kumbaya post? Okay, great.)

The process of fundamentally knowing who you are is one that seems to haunt the lives of most twenty-somethings. We’re told that this is the decade of “self discovery” and “making your future a reality.” That seems like it would be an exciting and fulfilling journey, right? You’d think we’d all want to jump right into it and do whatever it took to be the best, fullest version of our true selves, right?

………right???

This could just be my personal experience, but I found myself avoiding this process for a few years. Coming to terms with who I really am in a world and culture that is constantly TELLING me who I am wasn’t exactly easy. Discovering my identity – as a woman, friend, New Yorker, future wife/mother, daughter of God – is definitely still a daily work in progress, but I do think I’ve made huge strides over the past 1-2 years in knowing who GRACIE is, and living accordingly.

What I’ve come to really learn is that the most confusing and difficult thing about knowing your identity is actually LIVING IT OUT. What I mean is that I think deep down inside we all know what our passions, dreams, vision and values are. But when we face certain circumstances in life like job situations, relationships, financial issues, etc. we can lose our footing a lot more easily because we don’t have a firm identity to fall back on.

But when we know our identity and what we truly want out of life…

It provides clearer goals to aim for.
The need to please others diminishes.
It makes most decisions much easier to make.
It makes life more fulfilling overall!

That’s why I think it’s so important to actively be on a continuous journey of knowing your identity and being self aware. I’m a huge proponent of journaling for a handful of reasons, but one of them is to give you something to go back to and REMEMBER some of these things when you’re facing a difficulty in life.

So here’s an easy practice that I know has helped me a lot (idea originally from Jessi), and it might be worth a shot for you too.

In a journal, make a separate list for each of the following:

1) All of the things that make you YOU. Don’t hold back – write anything that comes to mind.

2) All of your favorite things in life. Hobbies, movies, places, feelings, etc.

3) Things you hate/don’t enjoy doing.

4) What you want your future to look like.

5) Things you want to improve/change about yourself.

6) What your values are. Non-negotiables that you know you want and deserve.

Making these lists in and of itself is a great step in learning more about your identity, but like I said above – I think the real value in having these lists is being able to refer back to them when facing certain challenges in life.

I know for me, I can get so caught up in trying to dissect and figure out certain life situations (work, relationships, decisions about my future, etc.). But when I sit down and remember these fundamental things about myself and my worth – it makes those things much easier to figure out and act on appropriately.

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What are your thoughts on this? Do you feel like you’re self aware/know your identity?

Gracie Gordon

on knowing your identity.