life: how social media is making us terrible daters.

You know me – I LOVE all things social media. I decided to even make a living out of it, in fact.

I also love chatting about dating and relationships because…well I’m a girl, and that’s what we do.

So you can understand my disappointment when I realized that two of my favorite things didn’t exactly mesh well together. They CAN, but they often don’t.

Instead of straight up dissing the glorious channel of virtual communication that is social media, though, I’d like to give us all (myself included) a few thoughts on why social media could potentially be harmful to our dating lives. Cool? Cool.

With Instagram, Facebook, Tinder, and all of these other social apps, there are literally thousands of members of the opposite sex at our fingertips that we would have never known existed otherwise. And hey – that could be a great thing. I’m the first to admit that YES it’s 2014, and social media is how people are connecting. BUT, I’m noticing that this influx of new people that we’re being introduced to on a constant basis is causing confusion and non-committal attitudes toward dating. I’ve definitely been guilty of this – the whole “but what if option b, c, or d is better?” sort of mentality. That’s where I think it’s so important to be self aware and know what we actually want.

2. stalking made easy.

Ohh yes, the joys of Internet stalking. I obviously can’t let this one bother me much because HELLO I basically have my life laid out for you right here and now. What I do pride myself in, though, is keeping certain things very private from GML and social media. It must’ve been quite nice, though, in the days where you literally would have no idea where people were, who they were with, or what they were doing/listening to/wearing 24/7.

3. we’re always looking down.

This is more of an overall cell phone issue, but social media definitely plays a huge part. We’ve been programed to use any pass time, travel time, or basically any time we’re not actively engaged in something else to be staring down at our phones. There’s no denying that this is taking away from human interaction (and not just when it comes to dating). And, some of these places we’re glued to our phones at are actually the places you can meet the most new people. So whether on the subway, at the grocery store, or waiting for friends at the bar – just look UP!

4. we’re getting lazy.

This is probably what I find to be most unfortunate, just because I’m your typical girl who has been overexposed to more romantic comedies than I care to admit. But I feel like meet cutes in “real life” don’t happen quite like they used to.

I think the reason is twofold: 1) it’s straight up easier and more convenient to communicate via an app/social media and 2) with the decline of face to face interaction comes a rise in fearing rejection. It’s almost like we’re no longer cut out for being turned down in person because instead we’re being “swiped left” or scrolled past without ever even knowing it.

With all of that being said, let me revert to my hopeful romantic self and say that nothing will keep me from being optimistic about dating and relationships. Pardon the cheesiness, but I do trust that love is a stronger force than any selfie, status, or app. Yes I just used the L word. Gasp.

Like I said before, the takeaway from all of this isn’t that social media is the arch enemy of dating, but more so to be aware and use it wisely. So the next time you’re liking his photo or sending her a wink, just remember that there’s an actual person on the other end of the screen.

**********

What are your thoughts on this? Do you think social media does more harm or good when it comes to dating/relationships?