The Inner Quest



I got together over the weekend with the insanely talented photographer and one of my best friends, Carlee, of Oh! Snap Photography. She is a true master at capturing people and light. We work together every day as a team and I couldn't ask for a better partner day in and day out! Plus, she has the best laugh on earth, hands down. So I get to hear that every day too.
For this shoot, we hiked Papago Peak just before sunset. The scenery and light were gorgeous. The climate dipped in temperature to feel mildly comfortable. But that wind. It just wanted to dance. And play with my hair. And not let us get a shot in. But in the end, we teased back with it, and were able to capture what we sought.
For the last pic I had this idea of writing a quote that I love on my back. The quote is,
"Beauty isn't about having a pretty face. Beauty is about have a pretty mind, a pretty heart, and a pretty soul."
It's kind of a mantra of my life. After almost thirty years of living, I am re-defining what beauty means to me. I know people will look at me or these pictures and say, "Yes, you're beautiful." To you, I say, "Thank you." And I know others will think think the opposite. And I say, "Thank you," to you as well. You see, quite honestly, it doesn't matter to me. I want the people who can look past my exterior, and see what lies beneath. It requires a second look, a hundredth look, a thousand-th look. It's scenic, so take the long way around.
For the first time in my life, I am embracing and celebrating finally feeling comfortable in my own skin after dealing with insecurities my whole life. Insecurities caused by my mind, insecurities caused by others, and insecurities caused by the world. But once I got past all of that, it's like the smoke cleared, the dust settled, and I could see who I am clearly, and in a different light. It was a long journey to reach that point though. There were days I would look at myself in the mirror and think, you are nothing. But then someone told me, when you look at those eyes in the mirror, know God is staring right back. He created me, He created you, in his image.
Today, I am on a journey to seek to know who I am underneath it all. It's the next great quest of my life....to know and understand the beauty of my inner being. If it takes the next thirty years of my life to figure it out, then so be it. As long as I can continue learning to navigate who I am in my relation to others, to the Universe, and to God. After all, those are the truly beautiful things in life anyways. Not me. You.
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