Getting into the groove…

i promised myself i would not look like a hot mess regardless of how stressful life gets with being a mama, wife, working full time and so on. i promised to never ever wear sweat pants or yoga pants (unless i’m going to yoga) in public. what i find works really well is that when an outfit works, it unofficially becomes my uniform. for the last couple months this one has been mine. i’ve worn this here getup for a kid birthday party, thanksgiving day in atl, to the movies with josh, to grab a drink with a friend. basically anyone who’s seen me in the last few months has seen me wearing this. the denim top is sleeveless so i don’t get too hot in it and the buttons snap so my little one has easy access for nursing.

i have hips now and am curvier which i quite like. if i could only keep these boobs. that would be sweet. since i’ve always been flat chested, i convinced myself that being flat chested is awesome and there’s so many perks like wearing crazy low cut tops (the ones that plunge really far down, that i’m too prudish to ever wear but like the idea that i guess i could) or going braless. anyway now that i have a taste of what it’s like to be an A or B if i’m behind with pumping, i have to admit i’m gonna miss them when i’m done nursing. in the beginning when i had an oversupply i think i may have even been a C ha! back when i was pregnant, i had no idea what my postpartum body would be like and i didn’t worry too much. i was told my body would never be the same by most and i was told i’d bounce right back by others. i have a couple of pounds to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, but i pretty much fit back into all of my clothing. it’s certainly tighter, but it fits.

the best advice someone gave me is to eat healthy and not to worry too much about fitness with a very young baby. i gained twenty four pounds during my pregnancy and dropped eighteen right away. a few weeks later i dropped a couple more and have a few pounds left to lose, but i am steadily building up my strength and endurance. i’ve been cycling to work when i can and this involves biking to multiple locations around brooklyn. so on any given day i cycle between five and seven miles about once or twice a week. a friend of mine shared a very powerful video with me about women’s postpartum bodies. it’s called birthmarkings and certainly worth checking out. it’s a collection of interviews of women sharing how their body transformed after having a baby and the camera is on their bellies not their faces. what struck me is that one woman said, hollywood seeks to sell the idea that it’s important to erase the evidence of childbirth and in many instances this is not possible nor is it necessary. she talks about how it’s important to appreciate a body that has transformed in order to bring forth life.

in real life, people tell me i don’t look like i’ve had a baby. the “evidence” is not so apparent, but in the nude it is and it’s okay. i didn’t get stretch marks, this time around but i have a little pooch which may or may not go away it’s really important for me to be healthy and strong and i know this will come with time and effort. having a baby has certainly been transformative and i am still negotiating the life i had with the one i have now and juggling quite a bit. i think i’m really close to finding my groove though and it’s really exciting. yea a bit of a rant…likely due to very little sleep okay off to get some rest.

coat vitnage, scarf vintage, denim top f21, sweater vintage, jeans bdg, boots madewell