March Fabness 2014: Sweet 16, Part 3

EMMA WATSON vs. JENNIFER LAWRENCE

Emma’s jumpsuit by J. Mendel, shoes by Gianvito Rossi; Jennifer’s top and skirt by Alexander McQueen, shoes by Jimmy Choo

EMMA: Well, well, well. Katniss Everdeen. We meet at last.

JENNIFER: Emma. We’ve met like, at least a dozen times. What’s your deal?

Emma’s dress by Chanel, shoes by Giuseppe Zanotti; Jennifer’s dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Jimmy Choo

EMMA: Um, I’m Hermione Granger, and I think I’d remember meeting Katniss Everdeen.

JENNIFER: Listen, it’s early, I’m tired – can we just drop the act and like, take a nap or something?

Emma’s dress and shoes by J. Mendel; Jennifer’s dress by Tom Ford

EMMA: No! Come on! Do the Hermione vs. Katniss bit with me! It’ll be fun! You’ll shoot arrows at me and I’ll shoot spells at you, it’ll be great!

JENNIFER: I don’t know, dude. I’ve been filming and press-touring for like, three years straight. I’m just going to take a nap right here, real quick…

Emma’s dress by Maxime Simoens, shoes by Proenza Schouler; Jennifer’s dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Christian Louboutin

EMMA: NO! Wake the fuck up! I am two-time March Fabness winner Emma Watson, and you will not fucking fall asleep in the middle of our fashion battle!

JENNIFER: Well, at least I got you to drop the Hermione bullshit. So, you’ve won this before?

Emma’s gown by Chanel; Jennifer’s gown by Christian Dior, purse by Salvatore Ferragamo

EMMA: Twice. And I very much intend to win again.

JENNIFER: Well, in case you don’t – any advice?

Emma’s gown by Prabal Gurung; Jennifer’s dress by Christian Dior, shoes by Jimmy Choo

EMMA: Yeah. Stay away from the Cornucopia, find water, and stay alive.

JENNIFER: You’re a real asshole, you know that?

Emma’s gown by Christian Dior, shoes by Roger Vivier; Jennifer’s gown by Christian Dior

EMMA: May the odds be ever in your favor, Jennifer. You’ll need them.

JENNIFER: You’re lucky my bow and arrow don’t fit in this clutch.

AMY ADAMS vs. CHLOË MORETZ

Amy’s dress by Victoria Beckham; Chloë’s jacket by McQ, purse by Chanel

AMY: Ugh. I can’t even believe I have to be here. Isn’t it understood that I have better things to do?

CHLOË: Chill out. It’ll be quick. I’ll kick your ass in like, five minutes.

Amy’s gown by Victoria Beckham; Chloë’s dress by Marni, shoes by Christian Louboutin

AMY: You’re a cute kid, and you’ve got decent style for a girl your age, but I’m Amy Adams. I’m America’s sweetheart!

CHLOË: I actually think Jennifer Lawrence is America’s sweetheart, but whatever.

Amy’s gown by Roland Mouret; Chloë’s dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Jimmy Choo

AMY: Don’t sass me, little girl.

CHLOË: Don’t call me “little girl,” you boring old hag.

Amy’s gown by Vivienne Westwood, purse by Edie Parker; Chloë’s jacket by Saint Laurent, top, skirt, and purse by Chanel, shoes by Jimmy Choo

AMY: I am not going to dignify your childish behavior with a response.

CHLOË: See, when you talk, all I hear is WAH WAH WAH, WAH WAH, WAH WAH. Like in The Peanuts.

Amy’s gown by Gucci; Chloë’s dress by Christopher Kane

AMY: Enjoy the schoolgirl looks while you can, sweetheart. You’ve got about twelve months until they start looking desperate.

CHLOË: Oh, and then I can wear stuffy gowns like you? No thanks.

Amy’s gown by Valentino; Chloë’s dress by Christopher Kane, shoes by Jimmy Choo

AMY: Oh, do I detect a hint of jealousy that I get invited to awards shows and galas where grown-up clothes are actually necessary?

CHLOË: Me? Jealous? NEVER.

Amy’s gown by Antonio Berardi, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Chloë’s suit by Viktor & Rolf, shoes by Chanel

AMY: Oh, congratulations – I see you’ve finally graduated from cocktail dresses. Call me when you find yourself a real red carpet look, will you?

CHLOË: Don’t fuck with my pantsuit, lady. It’s undeniably awesome.