March Fabness 2014: Sweet 16, Part 4
Michelle’s coat by Erdem, dress by Carven, purse by Mulberry, shoes by Rupert Sanderson; Kiernan’s top and skirt by Honor, shoes by Chloé
MICHELLE: Lovely morning for a fashion battle, don’t you think?
KIERNAN: It’s Saturday. It’s before 10 AM. It’s too early for anything to be lovely.
Michelle’s dress by Christian Dior, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Kiernan’s top and skirt by Miu Miu, shoes by Jimmy Choo
MICHELLE: You are possibly the cutest sullen teenager in the world, do you know that?
KIERNAN: Yeah, I get that all the time.
Michelle’s dress by Burberry, purse by Edie Parker, shoes by Gianvito Rossi; Kiernan’s dress by Valentino, shoes by Christian Louboutin
MICHELLE: I mean, I know I’m fabulous and everything, but this took years of work, and practice, and developing my style. I could never have looked as good as you when I was your age.
KIERNAN: Work, practice, and developing your style? You mean, finally having enough money to hire a decent stylist?
Michelle’s gown and purse by Stella McCartney; Kiernan’s top, pants, purse, and shoes by Emporio Armani
MICHELLE: Yes, isn’t that what I just said?
KIERNAN: *yawns* I guess. Can we pause this battle for a coffee break? I don’t think I can get through this without some caffeine.
Michelle’s gown by L’Wren Scott, purse by Monica Rich Kosann, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Kiernan’s dress by Preen
MICHELLE: Are you really able to drink coffee in a white dress without spilling? That’s a talent I’ve never quite mastered.
KIERNAN: January Jones taught me how. She’s great at stuff like that, you know, because she’s part robot.
Michelle’s gown, purse, and shoes by Prada; Kiernan’s dress by Dolce & Gabbana, shoes by Christian Louboutin
MICHELLE: Oh, is she? I know I probably should be surprised, but that actually explains a LOT.
KIERNAN: I know, right?!
Michelle’s gown by Oscar de la Renta, shoes by Christian Louboutin; Kiernan’s dress by Delpozo, shoes by Jimmy Choo
MICHELLE: Well, if you can teach me your little no-spill tricks, I wouldn’t say no to a cup of coffee the size of my face.
KIERNAN: It’s a date.
ASHLEY MADEKWE vs. OLIVIA PALERMO
Ashley’s jumpsuit by Topshop; Olivia’s top and skirt by Zara, purse by Louis Vuitton, shoes by French Sole
ASHLEY: What’s with the luggage, Olivia? Are you faux-slumming, or do you really not have people to carry your suitcases for you?
OLIVIA: I actually think the metallic in the suitcase brings out my fabulous necklace. OF COURSE I have people to do this kind of thing for me, but when the luggage matches my outfit, I like to keep it close.
Ashley’s jacket by Balenciaga, dress by Cushnie et Ochs, shoes by Saint Laurent; Olivia’s dress by Catherine Malandrino, belt by BCBG Max Azria, shoes by Christian Dior
ASHLEY: Really? You don’t seem like the kind of girl who gives a shit whether things match or not. You’re more like one of those socialites who will wear literally anything as long as it features, like, ten too many details.
OLIVIA: I refuse to accept criticism from someone as woefully under-accessorized as you.
Ashley’s dress by Cushnie et Ochs, purse by Charlotte Olympia; Olivia’s dress by Tibi, blouse by Rebecca Taylor, shoes by Schutz
ASHLEY: Listen, my monochromatic cut-out dresses are the shit. Unlike you, I don’t need six different prints to feel like I’m dressed to the nines.
OLIVIA: Monochromatic? I don’t think I’ve ever worn a dress in all one color in my life, unless I accessorized it with two necklaces, studded shoes, and a fringed purse.
Ashley’s top and skirt by Theory, purse by Rauwolf, shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood; Olivia’s purse by Valentino
ASHLEY: You know that those sunglasses that I’m sure cost as much as a used car just make you look like you have two giant holes in your face, right?
OLIVIA: Um, duh. That’s the whole point – for people to be terrified to stare into the eternal depths of my face.
Ashley’s dress by Thakoon, purse by Jimmy Choo, shoes by Saint Laurent; Olivia’s jacket, top, skirt, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior
ASHLEY: Well, congratulations. You’re certainly terrifying. Especially in that “sassy kindergarten teacher on Halloween” outfit.
OLIVIA: Really? How many kindergarten teachers do you know who wear head-to-toe Dior?
Ashley’s top and pants by Topshop, shoes by Jimmy Choo; Olivia’s jacket, skirt, purse, and shoes by Christian Dior
ASHLEY: My point is, your wardrobe is weirdly stuffy, and mine has that youthful charm that every fashionista dreams of.
OLIVIA: Says the girl in tartan pants.
Ashley’s gown by Monique Lhuillier; Olivia’s jacket by Zara, gown by Roberto Cavalli
ASHLEY: Watch it. You might get lost in my optical illusion of a gown. While you’re at it, you might want to lose the purse too.
OLIVIA: You can pry my fringed purse from my cold, dead hands, bitch.
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© Democracy Diva, 2014.
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