Mindful Monday ~ Watch Your Mouth!

mindfulness ~ the quality or state of being conscious or aware of something

Do you ever find yourself saying something cringe-worthy to your child only to have immediate regret? It has been happening more often for me lately and I’m not sure why. Too much work to do and not enough time for my creative outlets? Possibly. Mommy needs a vacation from her life for a few days? Probably.

Whatever the reason, where is that much needed “pause-before-speaking” I am frequently talking about? When harsh words come spilling out of my mouth, the hurt feelings sit like a puddle on the floor at their feet. In that moment I could just cry. I say I’m sorry and give a lingering hug while telling them I shouldn’t have behaved that way. Apologies aside, there is still damage done to their little souls.

Now, I am not swearing at them or turning into a raving lunatic, but my less than gentle reminders and frustrated feelings that get a rise out of me turn into unproductive exchanges. The only lesson learned, or not, is what I shouldn’t be doing in those moments. What the child on the receiving end learns is it’s OK to express yourself in that manner and boy that is NOT what I want to teach them!

No parent is perfect, I know this and I am no where near that unrealistic standard, nor do I want to be. Having said that, I know better and my kids deserve better. They should be treated with the same respect I am requiring of them to treat others. Why then, is there a double standard in this category for most of us? In fact, if they spoke to me in the tone I do to them at times, they would have some sort of consequence to deal with. Maybe I should have one too?

I may just run that by them and see what they come up with as sufficient punishment for my bad behavior. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Tell me, what do you do to remedy those situations? Better yet, how do you prevent them from happening? Are you finding it’s triggered by circumstances? I have read wonderful parenting books and taken in all the obvious resources for being mindful of my little one’s feelings, but I would love to know I am not alone in trying to find better methods of expressing frustration.

I would love your feedback and help. Thanks!

Live Well