Prom Dresses … Real Talk

Photo credit: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2298456/Photographs-probably-didnt-make-family-album–downright-strange-prom-photographs-really-capture-awkward-teenage-years.html

I was just made aware of a horrifying and disturbing fact. And I need all of you to stop what you’re doing and listen: CANNONBALL!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m sorry I couldn’t help inserting a shameless Anchorman quote up in here. No, but seriously, I was just made aware of a horrifying and disturbing fact that some girls, SOME, are spending over $500 on prom dresses. PROM DRESSES. Ladies, ladies, ladies … grab a non-alcoholic cocktail, happy hour is from 4-6 (if you know where THAT quote is from we are BFFs, clearly), and let me give you a little “prom dress 101.”

Almost :::coughs intensively:::: years later, I’m STILL obsessed with my prom dress. It was everything, and it was under $150, and I got it at Bloomingdales … and 6 years later they were still selling it. A dress is good when you still want to wear it almost 10 years later. (Yes 10, I know I’m old … whatever) And if I could still fit into it, I would slip it on and wear it right now. Never once have I looked at my prom pictures and cringed and had the, “what was I thinking?!?” moment, and THIS is what I want for all of you, future prom attendees.

Number 1., there is absolutely no reason for you to want or need to spend over $500 on a prom dress. This is prom. Not your wedding. (You’re welcome, parents). Seriously. I know you think this is the end all be all of your lifetime, and you desperately want the slow motion walk down the stairs as your date gulps hard over how fantastic you look moment, and that will happen … but a super expensive dress just won’t put a guarantee on that moment happening, unfortunately. The only thing that is guaranteed with an over-the-top expensive prom dress is that it will hang in your closet for the rest of time, taunting you as you come home from college because you wish you could have that money right now to buy beer and you know … food with it.

Number 2., refrain from going to a shop that specifically sells prom dresses, bridesmaid dresses, and mother of the bride dresses. If you are looking to stand out, this ain’t it, trust. It will be tempting … all of your friends will be doing it, and they have a service where if you buy a dress, they won’t let anyone else in your school buy it. But shield your eyes, for the love.

Prom is your chance to look stunning, one-of-a-kind, and to feel like a damn princess. And all of this can be accomplished for under a $100, :::gasp::: I know, right? So here are a few options to finding the prom dress to end all prom dresses … ahem:

1. Rent the Runway: Hello? Genius, right?! “Oh … you’re wearing some weird prom-dress-only designer? Well, I’m wearing Dolce :::Z snap:::.” I’m probably their biggest fan. Not only do you get to order an extra size for free, but they have specialists you can chat with and explain your body type, who will then recommend designers/styles to compliment it. AND you get cute little freebies with the delivery like tape for your taas and moisturizer. The only problem is, if other girls in your class Rent The Runway, there is a chance you may have a “bitch stole my look” moment. And if that happens, I’m not to blame.

2. Go Vintage: I like to call vintage stores the cave of wonders. If you can get over the fact that someone else wore the dress (I mean I hope you can, it has been washed … duh), then you have an opportunity to wear something one-of-a-kind and really different. You may need to get it taken in, and you may need to have a Cinderella moment and cut off certain parts, and kind of “make it your own,” but that makes it even cooler if you ask me. Now shopping vintage is not a one-stop-shop. It involves digging, and visiting lots of different stores. If you fail your first couple of times, keep your head up … it takes time. But from me to you, if you walk into a vintage store and everything is astronomically expense, leave immediately. You don’t want to mess with couture vintage. We aren’t Rachel Zoe just yet.

3. Don’t Be Afraid To Go Discount: Stores like TJ Maxx have excellent dresses that are actually different. AND they have a section called the Runway, where they have designer dresses for ridiculous prices. I was there last weekend and found a Valentino dress for $119. Crazy, right? Again with stores like Marshalls and TJ Maxx, this involves patience and digging. You may not score your first try. Make it fun, though, who knows what else you might find along your quest. Perhaps a sweet statement necklace to go with your potential look? Ehhh?!

So you see? There is no reason to go to those fancy prom boutiques and look like a cookie cutter of every other girl in your grade. A strapless dress with panels of color? Groundbreaking. You deserve to stand out. And be proud if you scored your dress at TJ Maxx or a vintage store! You deserve to have your moment.

Know, the bigger the price tag doesn’t mean the better the dress. Boom. Happy prom-ing, all!