Today I’m getting kind of personal.

I’ve gotten a lot of e-mails about relationships so…I figured I’d share a bit of my experience.

In general, I never want to over-share especially when it comes to my relationship. I feel like keeping it between me & Michael is what makes our relationship special to us. I’m super private/protective in that way. The Skinny Confidential is a piece of my life but it’s not my whole life.

Ya know?

Obviously there’s a lot of life that happens besides just what’s on the blog— whether it’s happy, frustrating, sad, or personal, not every.single.thing. is meant for sharing on the Internet.

We kept our engagement a secret for weeks & weeks before we blasted it out on social media.

On one hand, I wanted to scream from the rooftops…and on the other hand I wanted to just enjoy being engaged to Michael, privately.

And that’s what we did.

We socked it up…big time.

On that note, I do have a topic I’ve been dying to share because I really hope it will help at least one of you guys.

So I guess it beginnings with this: I don’t live with Michael.

Strange, right?

But seriously, I’ve never lived with Michael.

In fact, I’m having MAJOR ( major, major, major ) anxiety that in a couple months we’re moving in together ( << we’ll get to that later ).

There was a serious list of reasons to not move in with my boyfriend: 1.) I wanted to experience my twenties finding my independence & discovering my style. 2.) Why rush in to something that was going to happen anyway? 3.) Maybe I was a little selfish… 4.) …so I needed a couple of life lessons. 5.) I’m a control freak & needed to address the issue before suffocating my poor fiancé. 6.) I didn’t want to move in to someone else’s house…I wanted to move in to a home together. …the list goes on.

Ok, so the whole time Michael & I dated, I never wanted to move in with him.

It wasn’t about playing games…I just felt like we always knew we’d be married. We always knew we wanted kids together. We always knew we were going to create a life together…so why rush it?

Why rush my twenties to move in with someone, I KNOW I’m going to be with?

Let me guess? You’re thinking: because you need to see if you’re able to live with him!!!

But I didn’t see it like that.

I saw the opportunity of being boyfriend & girlfriend as a time period where I could go explore myself.

Without kids.

Without tons of responsibilities.

Without doing someone else’s laundry.

Without having to mix my style with someone else’s.

And without compromising in general.

I wanted to go to my home & shut the door.

Light my coconut candles.

And chill.

And guys…here’s why I’m sharing this: IT’S BEEN THE BEST THING EVERRRRRRRR.

I am so, so glad I moved out on my own to see how it is to pay all my own bills, decorate on my own terms, and get to know myself on a one on one basis.

You know?

Now obviously this isn’t for everyone. I think people should do what is right for them.

But for me, living on my own has been absolutely insane. There’s been times where it’s tough financially but I did everything in my power to make it work because I know I probably will never live alone again.

Also…if we’re being honest. There’s another reason I wanted to live alone: I’m Control Freak Connie.

Not like a ‘ha-ha control freak, nudge, nudge me too, aren’t we all’ kind of a control freak.

Like, a real annoying, you don’t want to live with me control freak.

My closet is color coded, under the bed is organized, I Swifter more than anyone in the world, every label is facing out ( Kris Jenner-style ), I don’t like towels on the floor, my underwear’s folded, etc. I could go on but honestly I’m scared of the comment section.

At this point maybe you’re thinking “well that’s cool to be that organized.”

…hmmmm.

Meh. Not really.

The control freak in me has gotten in the way of life before…seriously, though lemme tell ya ( but that’s a different story for a different day ).

I felt like I needed to work on that side of myself before moving in with Michael.

So I’ve seriously been trying…very, very hard to train myself to be a little bit more, uh…relaxed.

I definitely feel like I’ve made some progress. Fingers crossed for more though. That’s where my anxiety comes from…the fact that I’m going to be sharing a space with someone else with these control freak tendencies.

Wish me luck on that one.

And lastly, a question I get a lot: “well you’re engaged, why do you guys move in together now?!”

Here’s why: my lease is up whenever I want. Michael’s is up in December. Initially he really wanted me to just move in with him…but I do not want to move in to someone else’s space.

( To Michael: no offense babe, but I can so see you saying “Lauryn you left your sweater on my floor!” ).

I want it to be ‘our’ floor. Our dish washer. Our bed. Our house.

Does that make sense?

So we’ve come to the decision that we’ll move in together into ‘our house’ in December. We’ve started the house hunting process ( it’s pretty clear that it’s an extremely overwhelming process ) & I’ll keep you guys updated.

Sometimes I kind of feel guilty for enjoying this phase of my life ( sleeping alone, cooking alone, cleaning alone ) but ultimately I’m really grateful to have had this time in my life…but soon it’s on to the next chapter ( eek! ). Wish me luck.

In the end, I feel like moving in with him will be that much sweeter.

So there it is, I guess…my ‘why I don’t live with my boyfriend’ experience.

What’s your take? I loveeeee when you guys share your stories— just so ya know, I read each of your comments because you guys always have amazing advice.

Thanks for listening to my long-ass post, x L

{ P.S. Pixy is dying for us to move in together…she cannot wait to live with with both her parents ; ) }