Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening!

Good morning, I mean good afternoon, I mean…good evening! What time is it? What day is it?

Oh, well. Either way, I have a list.

1. We had a lovely Thanksgiving.

What about you? My favorite dish was every dish and my favorite pie was every pie.

2. My voice is back!

By the time it was all over, I had no voice for three whole days, very little voice for 2 days, and it’s slowly gotten better ever since. You should have heard me sing in church Sunday, though. I sounded like a donkey. A middle-aged, redheaded, holy spirit-filled donkey.

HEE-haw, HEE-haw.

3. I briefly touched on these last week, but I’ll review again. Here’s what I discovered I couldn’t do without a voice:

a) Holler upstairs to my children. Instead, I had to knock on the wall at the bottom of the stairs or—even worse—actually WALK upstairs to tell them what I wanted to tell them, which was nothing because I had no voice.

b) Talk on the phone. This was a blessed blessing of all blessed blessings, however.

The phone is not my love language.

c) Talk to my husband. I realized while my voice was on vacation just how much I rely on being able to converse with Marlboro Man every day about meaningful things, meaningless things, weird things, dumb things, substantive things, and wacky things. It’s so nice to be able to do that again. (I’m totally convinced Marlboro Man would agree with me, too. Ha.)

d) Sing in the shower. Showers were boring! I actually had to sing inside my head. And I hadn’t done that since the middle-of-the-night feedings with my fourth baby.

e) Get on the treadmill. But that’s because I was sick, not because I didn’t have a voice. But oh…it was torture. Torture! Not because I love exercising and get cranky if I’m not being physically active (hardly!), but because my FitBit numbers plummeted…and I mean plummeted. In a violent way. And I’m competitive with my fellow FitBit friends.

This was my FitBit a few days before I got sick.

This was my FitBit when I was in the throes of my sickness.

This was my sleep before I got sick. I dreamed of puppies and warm sand.

This was my sleep when I was in throes of my sickness. I dreamed of darkness and fear.

4. I’ve always prided myself on being a blogger that never complains about my symptoms when I’m sick.

Hahaha. Ha ha. Ho ho. Hee. Ha.

Or not.

5. Child update: Oldest weighing college options, second oldest playing a lot of soccer, third oldest transitioning from football to basketball, youngest planning all the YouTube videos he’s going to make if his mother ever decides to let him make YouTube videos.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.

6. It’s a few days away, but I wanted to let you know that the Pioneer Woman Christmas special is on Food Network this Saturday night! It’s an hour-long prime time special, which I’m probably not ready for at all, but it’s gonna air either way, so I need to get ready. Even though I’m not ready.

Here are the ways in which I am not ready for prime time:

a. I’m not tan enough.
b. I’ve always been a morning person.

Thank you for listening.

(I must have thought something was really funny in this photo, but I can’t remember what it was.)

The special will be lots of fun and I hope you love it! It’s full of cowboys, family, friends, roping, dancing, eating, laughing, and crazy wigs. I’ll fill you in on the party a little more later this week.

7. Charlie and Walter update: Still ornery. Still malodorous. Still lethargic. Still emotionally demanding. Still emotionally needy. Still emotionally manipulative. Still sleepy. Still sleepy. Still sleepy.

Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Thank you for listening to all my symptoms. It won’t happen again.

(Until the next time I get sick.)

Lots and lots of love,
P-Widdy-Dub-Diddy