TFC: The Perfect Man
It’s been 8 months since my fiancé Jeff popped the question. Although I have had a lot of fun with styling and planning, there has also been a lot of stress that has come along with each of these decisions. When getting caught up in the stress of trying to pick the perfect venue, the perfect dress, the perfect honeymoon etc., I realized that there really wasn’t any need to stress because this was all the fun stuff. I had already decided on the most important thing about this whole wedding a long time ago, when I chose the perfect man.
When I was in High School, I imagined what my husband would be like. Now looking back, the whole make-believe “perfect man” that I had envisioned seems beyond ridiculous. The funny thing is though, that most women I have met have done this too. Well at least most of the hopeless romantics.
“He would have dark hair, dark eyes, and an extreme tan. Big muscles and be good at most sports. He would have to be AT LEAST 6’1”, because I would like the freedom of wearing any size heel I want, without the fear of being taller than him. It would be a huge plus if he had tattoos, and I love a man with a couple of piercings too. And he can’t be a runner. I won’t date runners. I couldn’t have my husband doing the same thing I was doing. It would just be too consuming, and besides, we would have nothing else to talk about but running.”
I guess the man I was describing looked something like this:
Well, maybe not exactly what I had in mind. However, I’m still a big fan of Dwayne Johnson.
Many years later, I have found my soon to be husband. I met him when I was 20 years old and knew very early on that this was going to be the guy I ended up with. Jeff was the game changer, and was nothing like the description I had once envisioned.
Jeff has blonde hair, blue eyes, and what I would call a “pretty good” tan. Rather than being beefy, I found myself very attracted to Jeff’s cut, but lean body. Jeff is not 6’1” either, actually he is 6’ and ¾ inches, but luckily I don’t usually find myself in the skanky 6 inch heels I was a fan of in the 12th grade. He has no tattoos, no piercings, pretty much a straighty-180 mid-west type of bloke. And he became the first (and last) runner I ever really gave a chance. Now I couldn’t imagine ever being with someone who didn’t run. It’s this understanding of passion that makes us even stronger.
With all this in mind, I really started to think about how silly this vision was that I once had. How many other women out there have these thoughts, or a husband “checklist,” or list of non-negotiables? Lucky for me, this idea of my ‘perfect man’ never actually clouded me from seeing my real perfect man. But how many women out there really do stick to their vision and refuse to see love when it’s right there in front of them?
Love will always stumble into your life when you least expect it. Love will present itself in a form you had never imagined. Love will exceed all your expectations. It will abolish your plans. It will make you better, perhaps than you are.
Jeff continues to exceed all my expectations and is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I hope that when love presents itself to you, you can see clearly enough to let it into your life the way I did.
I am going to leave you all with a quote from another poem that I am so crazy about by E.E. Cummings:
“Love is the voice under all silences, the hope which has no opposite in fear; the strength so strong mere force is feebleness: the truth more first than sun, more last than star…”
Until next time,
-ADEL / @HGREGSON2
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