On Careers, Doubts, and Understanding Self-Worth

Today's post is written by one of my favorite bloggers, Stephany, who blogs over at Stephany Writes. Stephany is currently pursuing her dream of supporting herself through her writing and has made a goal to write 50 guest posts this year. I'm thrilled to have her as a guest here today, where she has written about the doubts she has faced in her career since graduating from college - something with which we can probably all identify!

When I graduated from college with my degree in communications in May of 2011, I was ready to attack the working world by storm. At that point in time, I was working part-time at a preschool where I was a "floater". Mainly, I was the girl who jumped into classrooms when needed and did all the varied tasks around the preschool. Whether it was making breakfast or giving bathroom breaks to teachers or decorating the front desk, I did it. I had been there for over two years and I was desperately ready for something more.
Three months after graduating, I was offered a great position. I would be an assistant to a marketing manager for a direct marketing company. Marketing was the field I wanted to get into and this offered me the perfect opportunity to learn and grow and develop as a professional. The company was small - just about 10 people total - but it felt like the environment I needed to be in.
Things went well for the first few months. My boss had a great personality and made me feel immediately at ease. I learned about my role and the company and my mind was abuzz with new knowledge. I was in the honeymoon period. Things seemed to be falling into place for me.
But all good things come to an end, right? There wasn't a specific moment. I can't pinpoint the day or what caused me to fall into downward spiral of self-doubt and unease with my life but it happened. I felt as if I wasn't measuring up. I was falling short, not using my full potential, and jealous of the super cool jobs those around me had. I began to measure my own self-worth by my job and diagnosed myself as having a quarterlife crisis.
And perhaps I did have a quarterlife crisis. I'm not entirely sure. What I do know is that it wasn't that I hated my job or my work wasn't challenging enough for me. It was that I worried of what others might think of my position. An assistant. A majority of my tasks are administrative and I'm not using my degree in the way I ever imagined I would when I graduated. I felt a little disillusioned by the working world. I was growing tired of the drudgery of the 9 to 5. I felt expectations weighing me down and I didn't know what I really wanted out of my career. I didn't know who I really was because I was so confused about my professional life.
Some people know exactly what they are meant to do in their life. They are meant to teach or lead or help. They are meant to write or sing or act. They are meant to be mothers or doctors or best-selling authors.
I felt lost. Though writing had always been a passion of mine, I didn't know how to make that my career. Or if I even wanted it to be my career. I felt as if I needed to know who I wanted to be when I grew up now. I had to figure it out and decide who I wanted to be. My self-worth was completely wrapped up in my career.
I feel like I've said this a million times, but the blog world can be incredibly detrimental to those of us who play the comparison game. As amazing as the community is, it can also wage a war on our minds. When I looked at others around me, I felt I was lacking in so many areas - but no more so when it came to my career. I wasn't reveling in the fact that I had a job, a good job, and was learning so much about myself. I found myself lacking and it was affecting all parts of my life.
A turning point in my journey came when I participated in Stratejoy's Fierce Love course. Because of this course, I began to own my amazing and hone my truth. It's where I started to realize I was an incredible being all on my own. Not due to having a great job or having life completely figured out or being in a fantastic relationship. Just because I exist.
The truth is, my career path is going to do twists and turns. It's going to go through changes. I may never have it all figured out. I'm in marketing now, but six months down the road, I could be doing something completely different. But once I began to realize my self-worth is not measured by the type of job I have, I felt released from expectations. I still strive to be a great worker, but I'm not bogged down in feelings of self-doubt on a daily basis. I'm not wondering if I should be doing so much more. I just am. I am present in this moment, knowing I am exactly where I am meant to be.

Stephany is a twenty-something young professional living in Florida. She loves daschunds, football, carbs, cruises, and stepping out of her comfort zone.