The Mad Hatter

{Hat and top from Market, Jeans by One Teaspoon, Handbag by Valentino, Pumps by Dior, Sunnies by Céline, Evil eye earring by Delfina Delettrez}

Brat attacks are so 2013. In 2014, I’m all about hat attacks and here’s why: When you live in a city such as Miami where it rains as though it’s Seattle, well, a big ol’ hat can hide any sort of bad hair day situation. For example, this past weekend, I celebrated gal pal Kelly Saks’ birthday with brunch at the Local House and my hurrr was 50 Shades of Cray. I just plopped on this oversized fedora from Market and — poof! — I was ready to brave the day. And slay an order of eggs benny, of course. And 7 mimosas. Or 8. I lost track. Sue me.

I have to say that this outfit of the day is a personal milestone of sorts — yes, I’m wearing a belly-baring top! An NO, I did not Photoshop this image. And TRUST ME, I would Photoshop the crap out of my photos if I knew how to but I don’t. Like, I’d love to erase my crow’s feet wrinkles. I’m all about creating an even skin tone on my face. Heck, I’d cut a betch for whiter teeth but yo no par le vous Photoshop.

Anyhoo, it appears my 6-days a week workouts (Pilates 3 times a week, Barry’s Bootcamp 1 day a week, Personal training with Massi 1 day a week and running) are fiiiiiiinally paying off. For those of you struggling to get fit, let me tell you, it’s harder than hacking the iCloud accounts of both Jennifer Lawrence and Kim Kardashian. Truth be told, I plateaued in terms of my fitness goals when I was working out 3 days a week, so I decided to bump it up to 6, and am seeing radical results. Slooooowly — of course. You know, there’s no such thing as overnight success when a smorgasbord of suspicious diet pills and starvation aren’t involved in the mix. And trust me, I’ve dabbled in some shady shit during my lifetime and the weight packs right back on the nanosecond a calorie touches your lips. Trust!

So take your time and keep it healthy, kids.

Thanks, Gissi, for the pics.