The Barefoots

“Does everyone have their shoes on?” asked Wifesy. This was a change because a) Wifesy was inviting the Barefoots into our home and b) because the Barefoots actually had shoes on. A little backstory on the Barefoots. Wifesy and I moved into our new home a few months ago. Before we had even moved our things into the new place, we noticed our fair-skinned neighbors and their golden haired children. I was standing on the front patio when the neighbors began waving (violently) and calling us over. Wifesy was holding a tape measure and the realtor, his clipboard. I was holding only my good intentions as per usual. “Oh! You’re the new neighbors!” said Mrs. Barefoot. “I’M THREE! I’M…