Free

I’m not a resolution maker. But, I am a lover of words. So, each year when the calendar flips January and all the fresh promises of new beginnings, slates clean and shiny, laying open before us, I choose a word for the year. Or more often than not, the word chooses me. Last year, my word was “anticipate”.

Anticipate: to look forward to as certain; expect.

God wanted to teach me to anticipate His faithfulness…to look forward to what he was going to do as certain…to expect it.
Oh, how faithful He has been as 2013 unfolded in a rush of blessing and adventure. I know that part of anticipating a new year means reflecting on all God has done in the prior year. But, I am longing only to look forward as I write today. He has done so much…too much to write in one post, and I am in awe and grateful. I remembered, often, the word anticipate when again and again He surprised me with His benevolence.

I wrestled with this year’s word. Back and forth between LOVE, FREE, and BRAVE.

Love is on ongoing theme, and the lesson that will rule our hearts and minds, chastening our flesh and teaching us to die to self for all of our days on planet earth. Love could be my word any year, any day. And, it will certainly be part of the focus as we continue this adventure.

Brave…well, I’ve had to learn to be brave as I step in front of groups of people, a little broken girl, telling a story about grace and redemption…and the God who sees the unseen and restores what no mortal can fix. I’ve had to be brave beside hospital beds with mothers and fathers, the broken, palpable in the silence filling the room. Broken that no words can cure. I’ve had to be brave enough to not just tiptoe into the shallow end of the deep, dark ocean…but to swim in the deepest, darkest places. So, brave would be a good word…I could use more brave for this journey.

Free…that’s the word that chose me. Settled into my bones, developed a thirst for more, and made it’s home in my longing heart. Free, like the woman in Beth Morey’s beautiful painting above…never mind the blurry cell phone picture. (I’m snowed in and can’t go to SGM to take a better one.) Free from the confines of all the past broken, the generations gone wrong, and the twisted paths of yesteryear. Free, from the weights of what if and should’ve and not enough, and unworthy, and too small and faithless, and afraid, and broken, marred and scarred with sin and hurt and all that’s missing. Free from the opinions of others, the approval of others. Free from the boxes we willingly imprison ourselves within, thinking it’s the only way…and the boxes we try to stuff our very big God into. Oh…how He does not fit in our boxes. Free from ideas that hinder, and words that cut and discourage. Free from identities slapped on us that have nothing to do with who we are deep in the souls once fashioned meticulously while we were yet in our mother’s wombs. Free from limitations that keep us from being the formidable, victorious vessels God created us to be. Free from the slithering whispers that come to steal, kill, and destroy. Free to embrace grace and adventure, and truth, and promise, and possibility. Free to dream dreams and anticipate their reality. Free to walk untangled and encumbered…free from the heavy that slows our steps.

Just speaking of it stirs a longing ache in my soul. A yearning to cast off the shackles digging into my flesh. They don’t belong, all clumsy and ill fitted. They don’t belong on a woman who was made to soar free. Wild. And, free.

The woman in the picture is free and confident. She knows where she’s going and she knows who (and whose) she is.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” ~ Matthew 11:28-30 The Message

God, your God, will cut away the thick calluses on your heart and your children’s hearts, freeing you to love God, your God, with your whole heart and soul and live, really live. ~ Deuteronomy 30:6 The Message

Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage. ~ Galatians 5:1 NKJ

All this is proceeding along lines planned all along by God and then executed in Christ Jesus. When we trust in him, we’re free to say whatever needs to be said, bold to go wherever we need to go. So don’t let my present trouble on your behalf get you down. Be proud! ~ Eph. 3:11-13 The Message

“But let me run loose and free,
celebrating God’s great work,
Every bone in my body laughing, singing, “God,
there’s no one like you.
You put the down-and-out on their feet
and protect the unprotected from bullies!” ~ Psalm 35: 9-10 from The Message

And I’ll stride freely through wide open spaces
as I look for your truth and your wisdom;
Then I’ll tell the world what I find,
speak out boldly in public, unembarrassed.
I cherish your commandments—oh, how I love them!—
relishing every fragment of your counsel. ~Psalm 119:48 The Message