Dear Sun, I Hate You (Not a Love Story)

{Wearing: Top: Blush. Bikini Top: Mi Ola. Harem Pants: From the motherland of harem pants, Ibiza. Braids: Blo Midtown. Photographed by my awesome mama Beth Culbreth.}

Here I am jumping on the bed. Why? Because, thanks to you, time change, that’s basically all beds are good for these days. Today, we’re talking about Daylight Savings Time and how IT SUCKS.

While the rest of Miami’s bloggers are throwing on coats and boots and hats and scarves and talking about the chill in the air, I’m going to tackle the other topic plaguing the norm. (It’ also a relevant excuse to post these yoga pics mom took on my recent trip home.) Let me set the scene: It’s 5;45 p.m. on Monday. The sun is starting to run for cover. Soon, darkness will fall. And my brain will perceive 6 p.m. as 10 p.m. Shortly after, internal clock chaos will ensue. As my friend L said perfectly on Facebook the other day: “I got in my car and the clock said 7:30, my phone said 6:30 and the sky said 10:30. I don’t even know what day it is right now.” Exactly.

At 9 p.m., I crawled into bed, convinced it was past midnight and fell into a deep, dark slumber—that ended promptly at 1 a.m.—because my body can function perfectly on four to five hours sleep. Or worse, I woke up before my alarm, which just burns my retinas, chaps my ass and and might very well be a sign of the apocalypse. There’s zero need for me to be awake while the clock is still in the 5 a.m. genre. Zero.

Then, come noon, I need a monster nap. Then, come 6 p.m. it’s dark again. Then, come 9 p.m. I’m fast asleep. Cue screwed up sleep cycle. I can’t live like this. How is it 2014 and we’re still abiding by this? Farmers have (sadly) been replaced by genetically modified food and I’m pretty sure the only people I actually know with crops could go to jail for them. (I kid.) Remind me again why we keep doing this Daylight Savings dance?

Come Friday, my internal clock should be set for completely mental. As for the clock in my car, well, I guess it will be back on track come spring 2015. In the meantime, here’s me and the setting sun, my nemesis, having a showdown.