The End.


I shut down this blog temporarily, while I decided what to do with it. But I felt that I owed myself, and anyone who cared, one last post. Because I believe in honesty over fantasies, and I think this will bring me some closure.

I'd like to start a new blog one day, once I get things sorted and figure out what's next in my life.

The dreaded words... Katrina and I broke up.

I haven't blogged since June, so you may have suspected from my silence that something was amiss.

I both knew it was coming, and yet was in complete denial. I don't like to give up on things and I was pouring all of myself into this relationship. The simplest explanation: we both had needs that were not being met in this relationship. God knows we had given it enough time to be sure of this. But in the end, I wasn't everything she needed or wanted. And on my end, I realized I was settling for less than I deserved. She wasn't 100% into me--she didn't want to talk about marriage or kids or a future, and she couldn't love me completely the way I needed her too.

Unfortunately, instead of us coming to this conclusion in a perfectly open and honest conversation, we had to suffer some complications and turmoil. And then she made a series of choices that hurt me deeply and ensured that we could not be together any more.

I know I will forgive her someday, after I've had time to heal. And after we've both grown from this and moved on. Something better is out there for both of us, and I'm excited and hopeful for the future. I hope that someday we are friends again--and I believe that we will get there.

My goal in sharing this is not to tell you to despair of love. Just be honest with yourself. Katrina was a wonderful part of my life, and I regret nothing from our relationship. I loved her with everything I had, and it didn't work out in the end. I can only believe that that is because there is someone else out there for me, who will love me completely and want me--head, body, heart and soul.

I am thankful for good friends, my family, and my fluffy cats in the meantime.

I will continue to risk my heart. I will continue to love, knowing that I may well be hurt again some day. But I risk everything in the search of finding someone to love and be loved by. Isn't that the point, truly, of living in this world?

If and when I begin blogging again, I will post the link here. Until then, if you'd like to continue to share my life with me, please connect with me on twitter (I'm migrating to a new account): @ruthemoo, and instagram @ruthemoo

Thank you for being a beautiful part of my journey. This may be the end of this story, but I truly believe my life is just beginning.

I wish you all the happiness and love in the world. And cats, all the cats.


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