Stage 0: Scary or near miss?


So.. last week I was diagnosed with Carcinoma in Situ of the Cervix, Stage 0 cancer. Breaking it down, at first it sounds scary, that word. Cancer. But then you come back to Stage 0, zero shouldn't even be considered a stage, it's a near miss if you ask me. But... then comes that word again. Cancer. Cancer is a scary word, no matter what comes after it. But the good news is, in situ means 'in place' so the cancer cannot spread to other areas of the body. Plus, it's only in one localized area and can be easily removed through surgery. After talking with my doctor, we have decided to use cryosurgery which will guarantee the least amount of removal. I got lucky by finding it soon enough to where it didn't take over my entire cervix. He said in probably a year's time, it could have taken over my whole cervix and I could have to get my cervix removed.

The only way to catch something like this is to make sure you keep up on your yearly check-ups ladies! Please please please! Because there really are no symptoms until it's too late, you need to make sure to check up on your body. I got too busy with life and didn't catch mine while they were precancerous, don't make the same mistake. This is very common is women, especially if you contract HPV sometime in your life. I was lucky enough to be HPV negative, but that also means something else started the cancer. It could be from me being unhealthy, being a young smoker (I quit last summer) or even being with multiple sexual partners. But the moral of the story is... anyone can get cancer.

With this news a month directly after our infertility problems, I broke down. I was feeling empty and oddly disgusting. I hated myself for one good hour. I cried unconditionally and I pitied myself. I consider myself a strong woman, but I can't have it together 100% of the time. I just wanted to hide under a rock and not come out until I was ready. But then I remembered. I have a daughter to be strong for, a husband to show love to and tons of family and friends to comfort me. I feel like it's been a rocky year, full of more tears than laughs. But I have to stay strong. Today can be whatever I make of it. And I am determined to make myself happy, even if at times I feel I'm physically and mentally falling apart. I am the light.
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