What the News Will Say About Me Based On My Twitter

If there is any lesson to be taken on the state of the media after recent events, it’s that they could use a hand. So, just in case something happens to me tragically, like my childhood love of 20/20 instilled in me, or I write a particularly angry email to my improv team (that’s like a sorority, right?), here is what you’ll see on Today for at least five segments of the morning show and two pages of TMZ.

I would also like to request that Ann Curry, Diane Sawyer, or Meredith Viera do the inevitable interview of my family and friends. Maybe Brian Williams. Definitely Colbert.

Harsh Critic of the Government


Heavy into Television


Anti-Women


Mournful of a Simpler America


You’re welcome, Liberal Media.



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