A Grand Adventure is About to Begin

Somewhere in the midst of the holiday season, I found myself once and for all fed up with slaving to a daily prescription the size of a crumb and up and stopped. A couple of days later, when it mattered, I told the other human being that my crumb of a pill actually concerned.

"Good," he said.

"Really?"

"I’m so ready. I can’t wait."

"Are you sure?"

"I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life."

And so the rest of my packets of crumb-sized pills went in the trash can. They say it takes an average of six months for these things to usually happen. Might as well start now.

Probably two weeks later, it started to feel like a massive weight, that kind where you can hardly breathe and all you can do is sob. Not cry, but sob. Right there on the sofa with sentimental Christmas movies playing in the background.

"We aren’t ready. We can’t be ready. There’s no way. Are you sure?"

"I told you, I’ve never been more sure," he repeated. "You’re never actually ready until it happens. Because how can you know for sure what it will mean if you’ve never experienced it? I can’t wait. And I know you can’t wait, either."

A few more tears. More words. He was right. I was ready. I was just scared.

But none of that even mattered. Because there’s this little human I have yet to meet with his or her dad’s incredible sense of humor and mom’s impatience who had already made up our minds for us. This kid knew it days earlier, we were ready.

And that was that. I’ve fallen over the moon in love with someone I’ve only met on a black and white screen a couple of times. It’s come to be that my sole purpose for living is to nourish the two of us. Nothing more. Every time I hear that heartbeat…. this is love.

Thirteen weeks later, after the scariest, rockiest, toughest three months of my life and more doctor’s appointments than one would think necessary, this stubborn little one is doing great. It seems we’ve got a tenacious kid on our hands. Or, as our doctor’s told us last week, we’ve got a perfect baby.

Perfect….. it’s never felt so good.

And so, with our tiny, bouncy, precious little babe, I point you now to Winnie the Pooh:

A grand adventure is about to begin.

9.15.2014