I Think I *Need* This

The last time I took Ralph to the vet, they said he needed to lose a pound. One pound. I was all “yessssss” until Ryan reminded me that was 6.25% of his body weight. He doesn’t eat THAT much, but I guess eating and sleeping all day doesn’t really burn too many calories. I guess? In light of that, I think I need this:

It’s called the CatWheel (obviously) and it’s the cat’s equivalent of a hamster wheel only more fancy and modern and cool. Here it is in action:

Stop laughing. Because for a mere $949 (that includes shipping, so it’s technically not THAT expensive), Ralph could be on his way to a svelter, HEALTHIER life. Dont’ you guys agree? I mean, do you see how skinny those cats are?! Don’t you guys want to buy that for Ralph? Don’t you want to see him trying to catch the laser while running on a wheel (even though you will most likely see him sitting beside it, batting at the laser because he’s smarter than that)? Just in case, here’s the link.

P.S. Here’s Ralph just waiting for your donation. Doesn’t he look sad (and a little overweight)? Only you have the power to change that.