Coming to Terms With Myself: The Start of my Weight Loss Journey
So I have come to terms with the fact that I have let my weight dictate they way I live my life and that it's not going to happen anymore. Looking in the mirror I do not see me anymore but a shell covering who I really am. Over the last few weeks, because I have had school and work stress, I have decided that I can postpone going to the gym or working on a healthy diet. Sure my life is crazy, between 5 courses, applying to medical school, and working 20-30 hours a week. but I realize by putting off a healthy way of life I'm putting off my happiness. I realized al of this when I was doing a self portraiture photoshoot for my photography class and blog, and I nearly cried when I saw most of the pictures. Thats why I don't have any of my looks posted, on what started out as a fashion blog. But Karl Lagerfeld was so accurate when he said that "Fashion is the healthiest motivation for losing weight". It makes you want to lose weight so that you can look good and embody who you really are, style wise.
I guess my weight really got so out of control going into the 11th and 12th grade. I had spent a semester off high school on vacation in Pakistan, my weight was at it's best and I was super confident, it wasn't as if I had the perfect body but I was satisfied with what I had. When I came back I had 2 months before the next semester started and I had to finish a whole course in that time, I put on an immense amount of weight on during this time because my life consisted of waking up doing homework, studying, in one spot, and then going to sleep. The following semester it kept going down hill as I put school and work over my body. But I'm not going to let a busy schedule become a obstacle to my dreams anymore, because I must "suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret".
Accepting all of this I have decided I am not going to let my body hold me back from living my life. I do not want to dress a certain way because my body dictates it or lack the confidence just because I am overweight. Okay lets get real obese at this point, thats a really ugly word but I can't avoid it, What I have let happen is unacceptable. Getting real with myself I decided to weigh myself for the first time in 2 years and I was shocked. The scale read 280 pounds! The last time I had weighed myself I was 170 pounds and the same height. I was left nearly winded. And then I tried a suit on, for work, I'm a 52! Thats off the charts, I used to be a 42 and a medium to a large. So for myself I'm starting a mission to rewrite my life. I am not going to let anything in my life be an excuse anymore and I will put in the allotted time to the gym each week and eat right. And what better thing to keep myself more motivated than to keep journal's of my experience. Even though I am usually super uncomfortable talking about any of these realities with anybody. But I've realized that it is a blatantly obvious point now and that theres no covering it up so why not be candid and turn this fashion blog into a weight loss journey plus style evolution blog.
Accepting all of this I have decided I am not going to let my body hold me back from living my life. I do not want to dress a certain way because my body dictates it or lack the confidence just because I am overweight. Okay lets get real obese at this point, thats a really ugly word but I can't avoid it, What I have let happen is unacceptable. Getting real with myself I decided to weigh myself for the first time in 2 years and I was shocked. The scale read 280 pounds! The last time I had weighed myself I was 170 pounds and the same height. I was left nearly winded. And then I tried a suit on, for work, I'm a 52! Thats off the charts, I used to be a 42 and a medium to a large. So for myself I'm starting a mission to rewrite my life. I am not going to let anything in my life be an excuse anymore and I will put in the allotted time to the gym each week and eat right. And what better thing to keep myself more motivated than to keep journal's of my experience. Even though I am usually super uncomfortable talking about any of these realities with anybody. But I've realized that it is a blatantly obvious point now and that theres no covering it up so why not be candid and turn this fashion blog into a weight loss journey plus style evolution blog.
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