About my Blog & All My Secrets

About my Blog:

When my marriage ended, I felt like there was no way to explain what had happened because I'd kept a lot under the rug, and then I felt like a fake. I wasn't, but I'd sure held back a lot and then was changing a lot and didn't know how to fill in the blanks. It got hard to blog, and things just didn't feel the same as they once did. Change is hard, eh?

I really just want to be myself here. I wanna share anything from my life that I want to. If you want to read it & converse, you're invited to... but if this is just for me, I'm good with that too. I'm going to change my blog name/address so that it's not confused with the company anymore, and that will probably help me share personally with less mental anguish ;) I'll probably use my name and will update you when the new address is ready.

Let's Clear the Air:

I want to get these truths off my chest, the things I've hidden from my blog. Plus a few silly ones to lighten the load ;)

I type how I talk, and I don't have a huge vocabulary. I get so excited about creative & design things that if feels like rainbows are bursting inside of me and I can't keep it to myself. I work in my pajama's until 3pm a lot of days. I became a Christian again and God is more real, I'm more balanced and I realize I have a lot to learn, and I have free will. Rules & checklists is not what it's about. I quote TV all the time. I have too many office supplies, and Poppin is really tempting me. I write everything down. It took me 5 years to be ready for marriage again, and it feels completely new now. I would love to show you more behind the scenes of my work, but I'm afraid I'm not a good designer or that my ideas are too easy and will be copied. I miss Penny. If I lost weight, I'd take more pictures. Keith and I used to have a bad relationship (fun & crazy in love though), but now it's amazing & healthy and even more lovey, happy and fun! I love making mini albums, and I want to show them more. Childhood bullying really affected my future self. I want to get a breast reduction. Kyla says I'm earnest; I share genuine feelings. I usually don't like writing a lot on my blog, pictures are more natural. When my marriage ended, I started dating soon after because I was seeking male approval. I can't get enough of yellow and orange together. My mind is always going. I love being a designer. I melt from hugs, hate being touched randomly. I make up words & combos and get too giddy about them. I am bossy if I'm not careful. Sometimes I snort when I laugh. I'm a night owl. I'm a problem solver and only want to share the outcome once the problem is gone or fixed. I do a certain little dance and hand motions when I get super excited. I'm attracted to guys and girls. I get overwhelmed by my schedule. I say the wrong thing out of niavity a lot, and then overthink how I said the wrong thing. My biggest fear is disappointing people. My wardrobe has little personal style but I love my design style. My heart feels like it's going to burst sometimes. I want my personal blog to be a truthful, fun and creative web-log & space, not a magazine. I love a good TMI with friends. I'm tired of protecting my past, I'm over it and want to move forward. I have depression and anxiety and sometimes it really f's up my day or week. I love being cheery and optimistic, and its sincere when it happens. I peed my pants in grade 7. When I see my ex, its like the past never happened (we hardly know each other and we just chat a little). When my stats on my blog started being in the high thousands, I felt like there was a lot of expectation and it was hard to post 'whatever'. I love Tuesdays. I'm awkward in public. Faith is complicated, especially because I'm innately logical. I'm a classic oversharer when I get started. I get jealous sometimes, and I hate that. I buy too many Apple products. I used to smoke weed and I miss it. I don't like coming up with blog post titles. I hate 'Keep Calm and Carry On' stuff. I don't like using my current last name. I love Jimmy Fallon and Jay Z. I care about my business like its my child. I am really proud of what I founded and what Kyla and I have built. I have crazy awesome dreams every night that are more entertaining than movies. I'm a homebody and struggle not to be a hermit. My Mom and I love gossiping. I glow when people think I'm a funny girl, but I pretend it doesn't make a difference. Now, I work with whatever comes my way in life and don't plan more than a year in advance.

I want to love my blog again.