Becky May

The Perfect Jeans



Via APC
The perfect jeans, as we all know, are a fucking nightmare to find. And once you've found them, you wear them until they are quite literally falling apart.

Here's what happens first; a knee will give out. You might not notice the knee hole until you pull them on from the heap at the end of your bed in the morning as you have done every day for the last 4 years (if you're lucky and you buy good jeans, of course), and your toe gets caught in the hole, and you curse out loud because the hole is now most likely bigger than it was in the first place, and your boyfriend asks you what's wrong, and you mumble about your own stupidity, and this happens once or twice more before you remember to put them on more delicately in the sleepy mornings. After the knees have gone, be prepared, because it's only a matter of time before the crotch goes too. And so you start getting up awkwardly, so as to place the least amount of stress on the bottom your favorite jeans, and bending to put your socks on becomes an everyday challenge (which, FYI, you cleverly avoid by putting on your socks first - this also helps with the toe/knee hole situation), and when you're out for dinner with friends and you've eaten too much spaghetti you worry you'll hear a rip when you stand up. It's an uncertain time.

I know all this because my favorite jeans are at the heartbreaking toe/knee hole stage, and it won't be long before the crotch gives up the ghost too. I'm not the kind of gal who is happy to have her arse hanging out of a pair of jeans, well at least not in public anyway, maybe at home when I'm cooking dinner though. But don't worry - I'm coming to terms with the fact that my favourite jeans' days are numbered, what I'm more disheartened about is that the quest for a replacement pair is about to begin. Sigh. When did I start to hate shopping? Oh right, when I discovered my taste. Plus, shopping sucks even more when you're out to replace something that was perfect and you will never find again some day, probably, hopefully find again. Positive thoughts, Becky, positive thoughts.

Here's what I'm looking for: straight-cut, ankle-grazing, mid-rise, medium-weight, butt-hugging, leg-lengthening jeans in a faded blue wash - but not cheap faded - there's a fine line between amazing pale denim and horrific pale denim. Know what I mean?

In SF, everyone loves their raw APC's (which are pictured above). While I dig the wash and fades of this kind of denim, I hear it doesn't last much longer once you get to that glorious broken in point. Which, I'll add, only happens after several months of hard work and not being able to wash your jeans. So yeah, I really don't want to go to the effort of breaking in a pair of raw denim jeans for them to fall apart once they get good. Fuck that.

I bought the jeans I'm going to have to replace in a charity shop in Pimlico. They were originally from Comptoirs des Cotonniers, but they only cost me 7 quid! Hoping I didn't waste my lifetimes supply of denim luck on that purchase. It always did seem too good to be true.

In these kinds of situations, it's nice to know you aren't the only one going through the same feelings. Here are some other people struggling with jean-grief: Elliott, who lost his favorite 'jorts' while we were at Burning Man (the only acceptable way to lose your favourite jeans, IMO, so I didn't feel too sorry for him), you can see them here in a kind of before/after arrangement - note the pink duct tape in the before pic. And Tilda Lindstam, a model I follow on Instagram, who posted this cheeky photo recently. <----see what I did there? Now that's the kind of girl who can wear jeans with her arse hanging out and still look fabulous.




P.S. I have no idea what prompted me to write this blog post, nor why it came out in such a sarky way. I guess I might have been missing this place for a while, though. No promises, but maybe I'm back in the blogging game. Only time will tell...
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