Bethany Neal: My First Fictional Crush

I thought it would be fun to turn over the blog today to author Bethany Neal. (I’ll post more from me on her book My Last Kiss later — it’s a good whodunit!) Today, going with the opposite of the “last kiss” theme, Bethany is sharing one of her own “firsts”…

My First Fictional Crush by Bethany Neal

My first (of many) fictional crush hit me hard when I was about 8 years old and saw the movie The Goonies for the first time.

Back then cable TV was a luxury and my family only had one receiver that resided in my parents’ bedroom. I was allowed to sit on the edge of their bed and watch HBO kid classics like

Fraggle Rock, but when my Dad had on A Fish Called Wanda or Die Hard I was booted out the second an “inappropriate” scene came on. I didn’t care, though. I was just happy to catch a glimpse of whatever was airing on channel 57. (That’s right, youngsters. We only had 57 channels!)

That all changed when I saw Mikey’s cutoff sweatshirt and bandana-wearing big brother Brand.

(Isn’t he so dreamy?)

The premise of the movie (if you were born outside the “Goon Docks” and haven’t seen it) is a group of middle class kids whose parents are about to lose their homes to a country club expansion plan, thus breaking up the gang of misfit friends. Mikey is the ring leader who finds an old pirate treasure map in his attic and believes real riches (that they can use to buy back their houses) lies where X marks the spot. There are a lot of fun and scary mishaps that happen along the way including a giant octopus that was later edited out for VHS release that keep this movie moving at a highly entertaining pace, but that isn’t why I barged into my parents’ room whenever I heard the

Cyndi Lauper song in the beginning sequence. Eight-year-old Beth was glued to that clunky box TV for one reason alone. To see the boy of her dreams.

There was no TiVo or DVR to rewind or record shows ahead of time back then, so I could only hope I wasn’t too late to catch the scene after the Fratellis (the ragtag murderous family piggy backing on Mikey’s treasure hunt) make Brand’s would-be girlfriend Andy walk the plank into dangerous waters, and Brand heroically (or stupidly depending on how you look at it) dives in after her. They share their first kiss in the throws of peril, treading water for dear life as the secret pirate cove begins to crumble around them.

(Check out that steam coming off the water! This kiss was H-O-T!!!)

That boy could accomplish more in sweats with running shorts over top than anyone I’d ever seen, and that was saying something because a ton of people were rocking that look in the 80s.

He was manly with a sensitive side and at peak physical condition. (I know this because he spends the first third of the movie doing nothing but working out and glistening while he’s doing it. See picture below.)

(Here he is in all his 80s glory. Nobody works out in a La-Z-Boy like Brand…or at all I suppose.)

The allure only increased over the years as

Josh Brolin (the actor who played him) essentially disappeared off the acting scene until The Mod Squad in 1999. He was illusive and just as dreamy as a grownup but with a deeper voice.

Looking back, Brand was actually kind of a wet blanket on the whole adventure theme that makes The Goonies one of everyone born in the 80s’ all-time fav movies, but he was willing to ride, er, steal a little girl’s bike, fully equipped with training wheels, to bring his little brother Mikey home safely. Getting a kiss from the girl of his dreams was just an added bonus. And enough to make me swoon over him for over 20 years!

Author bio:
Bethany Neal writes YA novels with a little dark side and a lot of kissing from her Ann Arbor, Michigan home. The things she is obsessed with include, but are not limited to: nail polish, ginormous rings, pigs, dream analysis, memorizing song lyrics, pickles, dessert, predestined love, not growing up, sour gummy candies, music videos, Halloween, and fictional boys who play guitar.

My Last Kiss is her first novel. Connect with her online at www.bethanyneal.com and follow her on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter @BethDazzled.

Love it, Beth! Who was your first fictional crush? I think mine was Gilbert Blythe! — Anna

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