31 Days of Respecting my Husband
Respecting men, specifically my husband, is something that the Lord has laid on my heart in the past few years. And when I say He has laid it on my heart, I mean He's convicted me like crazy about it.
I've been married for two and a half years now and have barely grazed the surface of what respecting my husband looks like. This is a chance for me to dive deeply into the subject and learn more about how God calls me to treat my husband.
I'm joining in on The Nester's 31 Day Challenge and writing about respecting my husband. For 31 days I will write about this topic and preach to MYSELF.
(See the bottom of this post for all 31 days!)
If it challenges you as well, then great. But honestly? This subject is directed toward ME. So just know that I am no expert. I am a servant of the Lord wanting to learn more about this amazing calling He has placed in my life - being a wife.
Before you read this series, you should probably read this post about how marriage isn't everything. The gospel is everything. Marriage is just one of the many ways God gives us a picture of His plan of redemption - His grace, love, and sacrifice.
ANYTHING good that I can do for my husband is through the Lord's grace. It is not of my own doing. What a relief! It's not about my performance. I don't have to work harder to earn favor from God or my husband. But that relationship with the Lord and with my husband motivates me to serve them - out of LOVE. I hope that makes sense. I want to keep that in mind as I study this topic - this isn't a checklist of things to do in my marriage. It's a way to brainstorm how I can love the Lord and my husband through His grace.
Here is an excellent reminder of that in Scripture: "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - Ephesians 2:8-10
I'm not saved BY good works, I'm saved FOR good works.
Alright. So let's get into it.
Why should I respect my husband?
Ephesians 5:22-24,31-33 "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands." "'Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.' This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife she that she respects her husband."
1 Peter 3:1-4 "Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external - the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear - but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."
As you can see in these passages, God commands me to respect my husband. In today's culture, that may seem like a negative thing. "Respect" and "submit" aren't words that are thrown around in magazines when talking about relationships. Actually, it's usually quite the opposite. Messages of taking charge and getting what you want out of a relationship are shoved in our faces daily. Why is this? Because we are selfish. I am selfish. Bottom line.
Respecting my husband goes even deeper than marriage. It goes back to putting others before myself. To laying my desires down for God's glory and the benefit of others. Showing sacrificial love. This all relates to respecting my husband. It's a GOOD thing. So let's put any negative and worldly connotations aside when looking into this.
This means respecting him regardless of HIS performance. This isn't about him deserving my respect. It's about treating him this way unconditionally. Unless I am in a dangerous situation that I need to get out of (which I should discuss with my church leaders if that ever were to happen), I should respect my husband.
But you know what one of the amazing things are about this? Respecting my husband motivates him to love me better. What a wonderful side effect! That doesn't mean everything will be perfect and that there won't be trials or problems, but it does mean that my respectful actions and attitude will make me more lovable.
The rest of the month we will focus on the HOW. We will talk about practical ways to respect. Today is all about the WHY:
- For the glory of God.
- Because God commands me to respect my husband.
- Out of love for the Lord and my spouse.
- To get to know both God and my husband better.
- To further the gospel.
- To be more lovable.
If you're wondering if I've ever written about this before, I have - I did, back before we got married! It's fun to look back and see what I was thinking and dwelling on a few years ago. God has been working in me a lot since then. (And always will be!)
Let me know if you're linking up with #31days!
Day 2: Respecting His Words
Day 3: Respecting Him in How I Talk About Him
Day 4: Respecting His Work
Day 5: Respecting His Family
Day 6: Respecting His Friends
Day 7: Respecting His Desire for Me (Sex)
Day 8: Respecting His Kingdom (Home)
Day 9: Respecting Our Time Together
More posts from Ashley Shelley
