BluePrintCleanse Part I

As some of you may know, I’m currently on the BluePrintCleanse. Before I start getting 984375934 comments about how I don’t need to lose weight and how some people feel cleanses are an unhealthy way to lose weight, you should know that I’m not doing it to lose weight. Prior to wintertime, I exercised 4-5 days a week, I ate very well, and I didn’t have any major health concerns. However, after moving in with The Boy in November, I’ve been slacking a little. The kid survives off of Gushers, Poptarts, and Keebler cookies. So, lately, I’ve fallen prey to some pretty unhealthy eating habits, and I’ve been feeling kinda rotten. With springtime coming up, I really want to get out of this rut and start feeling better again. So when I saw the BluePrintCleanse on sale at Gilt, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to restart my healthy lifestyle.

I know my blog usually focuses on the preppy lifestyle, but I’ve gotten a lot of requests for my opinion of the cleanse, so I thought I’d write a few posts. At the time you’re reading this, I’ll have finished the third of six days. (Although, I should note there were two prep days during which I pretty much ate celery and carrots. Although The Boy did take me out to dinner Saturday. Oops.) Here’s a recap of days one through three.

Day 1

8:30 – Where in the world is my cleanse? I’m hungry, and lemon water isn’t going to cut it much longer.

9:30 – Woohoo! It’s here. I unpack the juices, snap a few pictures for Instagram (judge me all you want!), and take a whiff of the first bottle. Smells like kale and celery. I take a sip, and hmm..not that bad. It’s certainly not Naked’s Green Machine, but I can get into this. It actually takes me almost 45 minutes to get the first one down, but I did it!

12:30 – Okay, I’m ready for number two. It’s just slightly difference from the first, but, again, it takes me almost an hour to finish. (Side note: you’re supposed to drink water in between each juice, so be warned that you’re ingesting 96 ounces of juice and 60ish ounces of water each day. Do not plan a road trip while you’re doing this!)

2:30 – Kinda over the green juice at this point. The Boy has a bag of Lindor Truffles sitting on the bar. Those would be incredible right now. Ooh and a bagel. I could go for a bagel. Or five. I can just start again tomorrow. No, no I can’t. I’m going to drink this juice, and I’m going to like it. I ended up getting this one down in 15 minutes!

5:30 – Spicy Lemonade. This one is very similar to the Master Cleanse, which I’ve done multiple times. I really liked that they sweetened it with agave instead of maple (as the Master Cleanse traditionally calls for). It really blended well. I’ll probably buy this one separately as opposed to making my own Master Cleanse going forward.

7:00 – The last green juice of the day. I was honestly so full at this point, and I was freeeeeezing. These juices taste much better over ice, and I always drink my water cold, so, after this insane amount of liquid, my insides are practically frozen. Thankfully, The Boy was finally home from work for this one, so he gave me a pep talk while I drank.

8:15 – I was most excited for this juice, because everyone said it helped curb the cravings for sweets. Well, those people are crazy. In fairness, it actually doesn’t taste bad. However, it’s extremely grainy, and I have a huge issue with the grainy texture. It just creeps me out. I drank the whole thing, over lots and lots of ice, but, boy, was I glad when it was done. 5 more of these? Ugh.

10:30 – Bedtime. I find that I actually have a lot of energy. I’m slightly worried I won’t be able to fall asleep, but I do – and fairly quickly. My only issue with the sleep: putting a bunch of liquids in means letting a bunch of liquids out, so I did have to get up two or three times. Not cool.

Day 2

6:30 – Wake up, drink some hot lemon water, and go about my normal business.

8:00 – I’m hungryyyy, but if I don’t wait until 9:00 for the first one, I’ll never make it through the day.

9:00 – Thank goodness. By now, the green juice tastes pretty good. Yes, I can taste the celery and kale, but I like those veggies, so it’s no big. People at work walk past and ask about it, so I’m feeling a little more empowered than I was this morning. It’s not everyone who can do a six day cleanse, ya know.

12:00 – The second juice has the added ingredient of ginger. Oddly enough, I didn’t notice the flavor yesterday, but, today, it seriously sticks out. I finish this one in about ten minutes, and I’m starving afterwards. Everyone at work is eating around me. The smells of cafeteria pizza, Kashi chicken Florentine, and Chinese food are taking over my cube. I don’t even like those things. (Sorry, Kashi, but you need to add some spices.) I go to fill up my water bottle to stifle the hunger, but someone is reheating some incredible-smelling Italian leftovers. Woe. Is. Me.

3:45 – I somehow resisted the urge to devour all the Hershey kisses sitting in my desk drawer (seriously – why did I leave those in there?) and made it to juice three. This one, followed by about 20 ounces of water, has me seriously full.

4:55 – So much so that I don’t know if I can drink number four, but I plan on going to bed EARLY tonight, so I know I need to drink the last one by 8:30. (You should drink the last one two hours before bed. This allows for proper rest for your digestive system while you’re sleeping. I follow this religiously, whether I’m on a cleanse or not.) It helps that I love, love, love the Spicy Lemonade. Apparently, Atticus does too. He licked the cap and is going nuts for more! He does yoga poses all the time, so I have to laugh thinking of my little new age pup doing yoga and juice cleanses. Ha!

6:15 – One more green juice, and it hits the spot. I decide to look into how many calories are in this cleanse. I swear I had read that there were almost 1,200, but maybe that was for Renovation rather than Excavation. Sure enough, Excavation only has 860 calories. Like I said, I’m rarely hungry, because there’s so much water, but I can definitely tell I’m running on fewer calories by the sheer exhaustion I feel as the night rolls on.

8:30 – Ugh. Not that gritty Cashew Milk again. Please, anything but the Cashew Milk. To my surprise, this one isn’t as grainy as yesterday. Disclaimer: there was a large putty-esque chunk at the bottom of the bottle that did not make it into my cup. I think this contributed to the smoother texture. However, it has me wondering – if it’s congealing like that in the bottle, what’s it doing in my body? Hmmm..

9:30 – I’m reworking a blog post for tomorrow and catching up on some work while no one else is logged on to bug me. After about 20 minutes, my eyelids are drooping, and I finally log off. I fall asleep for a few hours, but am awakened in the middle of the night. Without being graphic, this is when the cleanse kicked in. Kind of inconvenient.

Day 3

6:30 – My alarm finally goes off, but I’ve been up for over an hour with some weird noises coming from my stomach. After some hot lemon water, my stomach feels a lot better. Now that I’m not focusing on my stomach, it hits me that I have a headache. I need caffeine. I haven’t had it since last Friday, so I don’t think I’m going through withdrawal, but my body definitely associates exhaustion and headaches with caffeine after years of reaching for the Gevalia after a poor night’s sleep. If anyone ever criticizes my will power again, they’re dead to me.

9:00 – I’ve guzzled down about 32 ounces of water at this point, so I’m not particularly hungry, but I know I need to drink this now, because my next opportunity isn’t until noon. At this point, the green juice seems like a routine. My brain has tricked me into thinking it tastes just as yummy as Naked’s Green Machine (is that banana I hint? no, crazy lady), so I drink it happily while in a meeting. I find that I’m extremely focused in this hour-long meeting, and even in my following two-hour meeting. I occasionally always daze off momentarily in the daily two-hour, but I’m on point today. Strange.

12:00 – Drink number two. I realize I don’t particularly enjoy the ginger in this one. I like ginger normally. (Years of stomach aches due to IBS meant looking for some natural remedies, which include eating ginger.) Hmm..do they put ginger in here to calm tummies that might be upset with the inundation of nutrients? Those sneaks. I have to admit that the McDonald’s french fries in the cube next to mine smell pretty darn good when I first smell them. However, after I get up to refill my water bottle and return to my desk, the smell of the grease is very reminiscent of having a bad hangover and driving past the rank oil tubs behind McDonald’s. No, thank you. (I can’t be the only one whose boyfriend drags her to McDonald’s for hash browns the morning after. I always abstain, by the way.)

3:15 – I drink this one when I get home from work. I’m a little over the monotony of the green juice at this point. It’s not bad, just boring. I see an email from BluePrint congratulating me on making it through the cleanse. Slow your roll, y’all. I have three more days of this.

4:45 – Woohoo! Spicy Lemonade time. This stuff is a God-send.

6:00 – Another green. I’m so full at this point. I need to do a better job of spacing these out, but my job doesn’t permit me to get up to use the ladies’ room every ten minutes, so I can’t drink too much. Thankfully, I’m home for the next three days. That might make this easier.

8:30 – One of my awesome Twitter followers gave me the idea to put this and some ice in a blender. I’m trying that tomorrow, because I just can’t get over the texture.

General Observations

BPC included a small pamphlet with tips. In it, it suggested working out to help sweat out toxins, as well as getting a massage and colonic. While I’m not quite brave enough for a colonic, and no one could book me a massage this last-minute, I did work out every day. I actually have a pair of Hot Pants, too, which I use to stay warm in this frigid weather to get the heart rate pumping a little more while doing circuit training, so I had those on for each workout to boost the sweat. I was worried about working out while on the cleanse, just because I’m prone to getting lightheaded from low blood sugar, so I wasn’t sure the juices would provide enough energy. Honestly, my energy levels during the day (after the initial morning low and before bedtime) were high as could be without ten espressos. I can’t promise it’ll be the same for everyone, but that IS the general concensus I’ve heard from friends.

At this exact moment, I would not recommend doing this before a big event or spring break. Again, it could be because I have IBS, but my stomach felt bloated all three days due to the amount of liquids going in my body. It’s water weight, so it’ll disappear once everything is back to normal, but I would not want to wear an itsy bitsy teeny weenie bikini this morning (day four). We’ll see how I feel in the aftermath of the entire cleanse. Wish me luck on the next three days!