A Refresher Course On Tone Policing

The term "tone policing" is often incorrectly used as a defense against privilege blindness and insensitivity. This is not okay.

People sometimes unintentionally make the mistake of reducing the vocabulary that makes up the framework that oppressed people have created to articulate their oppression, to meaningless buzzwords that have lost their purpose; usually through misapplication.
"Tone-policing" is a specific term with a specific meaning, and misusing it directly co-opts the tools that oppressed groups have created to defend themselves against a system that discriminates against them. Misapplying the term dilutes its meaning, and reduces any impact it can have when used appropriately.
It is not okay to use "tone policing" as a blanket defense against people who disagree with you. It is not okay to use "tone policing" as a shorthand way to silence dissent. It is not okay to defend being an asshole by claiming that anyone who calls you out is "tone policing." It is not okay to co-opt the language of the oppressed because someone was mean to you once and it hurt your feelings.
To revisit the lesson: Tone policing is the act of using the messenger's method of delivery against them, as justification to dismiss the message, when they have a stake in having said message be accurately received. It is the act of disregarding the substance of someone's argument by focusing on the way it was conveyed. A tone argument focuses on delivery as a means to sidestep the issue at hand. It is a derailment.

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