How to Love Yourself

Today, I am re-posting from my personal blog. I hope this inspires you today to make self care a priority. This is a message that is especially important for women since we tend to put others above our own needs. You are so worth loving, and you’re just as important as the people in your world that you care for.

In my previous post, I wrote about the importance of loving yourself. As I taught the students at my alma mater, here are three ways to know that you are loving yourself. Think of this is a measurement opportunity. If one area needs attention, or another is getting too much, this will let you know.

What does loving yourself look like? It is NOT pride, arrogance, or selfishness. Love cannot be confused with these. Love can be summed up as giving. It is easy to give to others, but are you giving to self as well? This is not to be confused with putting self above others, but as I wrote earlier this week, putting as much energy into caring for self as caring for others.

How to Love Yourself

1. Take care of yourself Practically
Having a great relationship with yourself means understanding your needs. Some people need 6 hours of sleep to function well, others need 10. Know what you need, and do your best to take care of your responsibilities (ie homework, errands, projects) with the time that you need. This also means making time for things that energize you. Reading? Exercising? Time with friends? Make time for things that energize you each week so you can have the energy to give to your family, church, friends, and job.

Taking care of yourself also includes understanding your strengths and your non-strengths. Everyone has both! Soar with what you are good at, and give yourself grace for what you are not so great at. No one expects you to be perfect in every area 100% of every day. You might feel a lot of pressure from a spouse, parent, or boss but likely most of the pressure is coming from yourself. Giving yourself grace allows room to breathe and not feel the crushing weight of perfectionism that so easily leads to burnout.

I enjoy cooking, and in order to make it happen, I often times have to schedule time for it.

2. Take care of yourself Emotionally
This cannot be a responsibility of anyone else. You cannot rely on your spouse, children, a boyfriend or girlfriend, a best friend, teacher, or boss to cater to your every need and “just get you” 100% of the time. If you know you are having a rough day, give yourself grace & understand everybody has rough days occasionally. Once you have given yourself that grace, speak to your emotions. If you do not direct your emotions, your emotions will direct you. I am convinced that this is why Proverbs says to “guard your heart.” ”Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts. Don’t talk out of both sides of your mouth.” (Proverbs 4:23-24 MSG)

One way to rest my heart is by taking a one day vacation or spa day. Quiet time to rest & recharge.

It is very easy to let what we feel become real. We let it become the only reality we know, but often our emotions deceive us. ”The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be.” (Jeremiah 17:9, 10 MSG) Ouch.

Our emotions must be told truth. Psychological fact: if you hear something enough, you begin to believe it is true…even if it is false. Surround yourself with truth and refuse to accept anything less than what God says about you.

I recharge with the Bible & tea or a latte.

3. Take care of yourself on Purpose
You will not love yourself if you do not believe that you were born with a purpose. People may have said that you were an accident, or that you are worthless, but God’s Word says He formed every part of you.

Psalm 139 shows us that God knit us together perfectly. ”For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11 NLT)

He created you well! You are worth loving! You have a beautiful gift inside of you to share with the world. Guard that gift, nurture that gift, grow that gift, and allow God to use that gift to transform others through love!