An Open Letter to Clare Bowditch

Clare Bowditch at 2013 Problogger Event, singing “Amazing Life”.

Dear Clare,

Last August, your keynote at the Problogger Event had a profound effect on me. You talked passionately about the pursuit of making our lives extraordinary. You talked about not being one thing, but starting with something.

I am one of the Great Undeciders. I am a creative, but that creativity comes in many forms, and gives rise to many urges. Do I want to write, and what does that look like? Novels? Plays? Screenplays? Do I want to sing? Do I want to go back to the theatre? Do I want to drive myself insane with wanting to be everything all at once?

Well, I was on a precipice last August when I attended Problogger (figuratively speaking, you understand). I was frustrated and conflicted, wondering what my legacy was going to be, what kind of creative role model I was presenting for my kids (right now my three year old is belting out “Let it Go” in our lounge room, so I’m guessing 1) their creative minds are going to be OK and 2) the ear worm in my brain may just eat me alive before I finish this letter).

You sang us your beautiful song, “Amazing Life” and the lyrics, “You don’t have to be one thing, but you have to start with something” ignited something in my brain back then, a fire I knew was there, but had let atrophy for 20 years. I’d started many novels, fuelled with nothing more than an idea and they had all died a few chapters in.

But after your keynote last year, I went back to my hotel room and said,

“Fuck it, yo, I’m going to do this. I’m going to WRITE THAT NOVEL.”

And you know, last Friday I printed the whole bloody thing out, 94,238 words of the best (and yet darkest) adventure I’ve had in my life. The story has been told and I finally finished the project I wanted to complete 20 years ago. This is a novel I actually couldn’t have written 20 years ago (the editing stage may take another 20 years though!) I’ve discovered my passion, how I want to leave my legacy on the world.

I didn’t realise the significance of finishing the story on Friday, until you sang “Amazing Life” at your Winter Secrets Concert at the Corner that very night and I realised I have come full circle. It made me incredibly emotional to hear that song, to have the epiphany that I’ve only heard that song twice in my life and it signified the beginning and ending of this incredible adventure which is, in many ways, just beginning.

Perhaps it shouldn’t be the case that a stranger speaks a truth that crystallises the things that you know deep down, but that is exactly what happened to me last August.

♡ Kimberley

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