No regrets

It seems kind of fitting that I had a post written for today - all about the way my life has changed in the past 10 weeks - and of course, Blogger deleted it after I hit Publish. A lot of things don't go my way these days. I wrote it while Annabelle was napping in the Moby on my chest. She is awake now... but rewriting the post would take too long for I don't even remember half of what I said. Now...I am typing this as she sits in the crook of my arm, gnawing on her fist, and drooling all over her bunny.

My post was going to talk about sleeping - or lack thereof - and how it really doesn't matter to me anymore if I don't sleep at night. Last night Annabelle had her third night in a row of a 5 hour snooze. I laid awake for two of those hours. I watched her eyelids flutter and listened to the sweet coos she makes when she sleeps. I thought about how lucky I am to be her Mother. This morning, I have no regrets for wasting two hours awake when I should had slept. Wanna know why? It's because I can sleep another day when she is all grown up. For now I don't want to miss anything.

She is now going wild staring at her feet while I type. Watching her concentrate so hard on those little footsies and knowing that she has no idea those feet will take her all sorts of places someday - it's an incredible thought.

I have no regrets that I have spent the last 3 hours sitting on the couch with this little love bug trying to blog... while my house is a mess and I haven't brushed my teeth yet today. Oh and my inlaws are on their way here. They won't mind a messy house and bad breath right??

As a Mom, I've had to learn that things aren't always going to go my way. Does this make me unhappy? NO. It doesn't. They didn't always go my way before I had a baby. I had more control over my life though - I could go to the store when I wanted. I could go to the bathroom when I wanted. I could even eat lunch with two hands. Now... there is a tiny human whose diaper is currently falling off that needs my attention. And I am OK with that. I love it. Every day there are new challenges and I am ready to embrace each and every one.

Now she is screaming... and climbing up my chest. So... I can't finish this post. After I hit Publish, I am going to rock to sleep. And then I am going to snuggle her for as long as I can... and I will have no regrets.

Caitlin Houston

No regrets