Five Years Later: How The Stars Are Living Up to Their Vows

It is a testament to how much I love weddings and how much I love my husband and how much I love Weddingbee that five whole years into my marriage, I still jump at the chance to write a post about my wedding here!

This post series is well timed, as our five year anniversary is coming up in just a couple of weeks, and I was planning on popping in to say “hi” from The Stars anyway.

As you can see, we are still in love and still very much enjoying our life together:

Photo from a friend’s wedding

Does anyone here even remember our wedding? Here’s a refresher, just in case you don’t!

Photo credit for this photo and all wedding photos goes to John Martin Photography

We wrote our own vows and didn’t share them until our wedding day, which I loved. There was something so emotional about hearing what the other person felt was important to say in that moment. As you can see, I was very, very focused on listening to what Mr. Star had to say:

Mr. Star’s vows were as follows:

Yes, we have our differences…
You planned the whole wedding,
I washed the dog.
You like fine dining,
I like pigs in a blanket.
I love you,
You love your dress.
But what others see as differences, I see as more of a balance, and I vow to you these things to balance out our lifelong exploration together.

I promise to always listen and trust what you say. Be it after a long day of work or at three in the morning after a nightmare, I will always listen to what is on your mind. I love hearing you and it is my vow that I will always listen to you and try and see things from your side. You have views and experiences that I don’t and listening to you teaches me something every day. We both make this relationship work, and it is both of our voices that bring us together.

I promise to always take care of you and be at your side. Whether it is making you coffee every morning to help you get through the day, or being there for you through loss I will always be there to take care of you. I promise to make you feel safe, loved, and always taken care of. We have made it through the good and bad, and I am very aware that there is plenty more to come. I have always told you that I am not going anywhere, and I promise you that will always remain true.

I promise to always be honest with you. I am a man afraid of letting down the ones he loves and disappointing them, and I am aware that I have a very hard time admitting my mistakes. It is my promise to you that I will always share my successes and disappointments with you. I vow to share everything I am with you and overcome my fears, as there should never be anything to fear as long as I have you.

I promise to always make you laugh and to help you appreciate living in the moment. I know your quirks as well as you know mine, and I know that life can be difficult. It is my vow that through the good and the bad I will help you to laugh, to love, and to live in the moment from time to time, as life throws many curve balls and who knows what tomorrow will bring.

I will always love you and I will live through today so that I can be with you tomorrow.

Beautiful, right? He’s a keeper. This is the first time I’ve read all the way through those and considered how well he’d been living up to those promises since we got married five years ago, and my sappy little heart is warmed to think of how well he’s stuck to those vows. He has indeed listened to me, taken care of me, been honest with me, and reminded me to live in the present. Among oh-so-many other things.

And here are my vows, complete with commentary on how well I feel like I’ve been living up to them:

Dan, you soften my sharp edges.
You hoist me on your shoulders when I can’t quite reach, and you calm my strained nerves after a day of struggling at auditions.
You have shown me what it is to truly love a man and you continually push me to be a better partner.
You are my strength when I am weak, and being held in your arms brings me more peace than I’ve ever found on this earth.

I vow: To love you and no other, that we may happily grow up and grow old together

Personal photo of us on our very first date!

The photo above was taken on our very first date eight whole years ago, and I have loved no other man since that day. And as you can see from our baby faces in that picture, we have definitely grown up together. And will continue to do so.

To encourage your dreams, that you may see them realized

Personal photo taken on our rooftop before a major television show’s wrap party

Check us out lookin’ all New York-y chic and stuff. That picture was taken before a fancy wrap party for the TV show Mr. Star was working on at the time. I was so proud of him that day and so many other days in between. We each support each other’s dreams, and I hope that never stops.

To hug, kiss, and touch you every day, that you may always be reminded of my love

We are ridiculously sappy (have you gotten that yet?), and others often comment about how much we cuddle. I think it’s safe to say that I’m nailing this one.

To celebrate your triumphs and learn from your failures, that they may become ours

One of the amazing things about being married is feeling like you are a part of this unbreakable team. We have had amazing times, and we have had very low times, and it always feels like we’re on this crazy roller coaster ride called Life together.

To become a part of your family and welcome you into mine, that our people may be each other’s people

Personal photo

We are so much a part of each other’s families now that it’s hard to remember what it was like to be without them in our lives. I love love love that. You can never have too many people to love. PS: How cute are my little sisters, right?!?

To continually work to grow together, that we may never grow apart

This is a really important one. Both of us have changed as people so, so much since we first fell in love in the college dorms. It would be easy to wake up one morning and realize that the person sleeping next to you was not at all the person that you fell in love with. But you know what? That’s OK. We both have changed, but we still love who the other person is. And honestly? A lot of how we’ve changed is a direct result of being the other person’s partner.

For instance, Mr. Star is a lot more organized and ambitious than he used to be before marrying me. And I am a lot more even-keeled and secure in myself and my relationships than I was before falling in love with him. So our changes have actually brought us closer together. And we’re now creepily saying the same thing at the same time these days, so there’s that unexpected side effect of being old married people.

To strive to the be best wife I can be, that I may always deserve the husband you will be

I put a lot of thought into the kind of wife I am to him, and how I can always be bettering myself. I’m not always a perfect partner, but I’m always trying to be better.

To explore the wide world with you, that we may each expand our experiences and perspectives together

Personal travel photo

We are always seeking out new experiences and adventures together, whether they be in New York City where we live or abroad. Every year, we go away somewhere new to celebrate our anniversary, and this year we explored Peru! Gratuitous Machu Picchu photo above.

To embrace our differences, that we may continue to complete each other

This one may be the one that I personally struggle the most with. Although I know rationally that our differences are what made me fall in love with him (I would never want to be married to myself!), those very differences can sometimes lead to conflict.

For example, while I am a master of detail and organization, Mr. Star is much more of a big picture thinker and a creative soul. I love this about him, but it can be irritating to have to remind him to run an errand three times before it gets done or that we promised to have dinner with our friends on Thursday night after I’ve already told him about it last week. Developing systems to help him remember things like this has been key to helping me avoid trying to make him more detail oriented (and stressed out?) like myself. It’s always a good reminder that I don’t want to change who he is, even though we might have fewer little spats.

As William Butler Yeats said, “I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.”

And tread softly we have. We have both loved each other so fully and so deeply during these first five years of marriage that I feel more confident than ever that we will be that cute little old couple cuddling in the park. And it’s pretty awesome to feel more confident in your marriage after five years of walking through the fire together than you did on your blissful wedding day.

Here’s to the next five years of Star-Studded Love.

PS: Mosey on over to Twitter and say hi!

~~~

Catch up on the “After the Wedding” series here!

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Mrs. Star

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