He Said to be Cool But I'm Already Coolest
Happy 4th of July. Although this holiday is most assuredly focused on a celebration of America's freedom, the past few Independence Days have personally brought to mind Lana Del Rey's
"National Anthem." The play on words and 1960s Kennedy family inspired music video are certainly a throwback to the patriotic spirit of the mid 20th century, however the core meaning of the song sends a more personal and in depth message.
"National Anthem" expresses the feelings of a young and innocent girl in the beginning stages of dating a wealthy and attractive man. Towards the beginning of the song, we are presented with the line "He said to be cool, but I don't know how yet" after which the singer describes several incidents in which she discovers various rites of passage through partying and living a crazy, thrill-filled life. Near the end of the song, the line is repeated, but with an obviously different play on words: "He said to be cool, but I'm already coolest."
These two specific phrases quite accurately describe situations I have experienced during the course of my adult life. A lot of men feel that it is perfectly acceptable to hold standards over the heads of the women they choose to date. As a woman, it is so easy to fall into this entrapping behavioral cycle and doubt your own confidence and security. You end up basing your standards regarding your own personal identity off another person's beliefs and opinions.
"He said to be cool, but I don't know how yet"---the man in question does not obviously think that the singer of the song is in fact cool, and is giving her his opinion on how he thinks she should be. He is not satisfied with who she already is and wants to alter her in a way that is befitting to his own desires. The singer is only too willing to acquiesce to his statement and has no qualms admitting that she does not yet know how to live up to these standards of coolness.
By the end of the song however, it is apparent that the singer has reached her maturity as a woman: "He said to be cool, but I'm already coolest." She has not yet made the standards that her man has expected from her, because he's still telling her to be cool. However, she has apparently ceased to associate any value with his opinion, and frankly states that she's in fact surpassed his level of accomplishment. The rest of the song shows that the very fact that her man thinks that he is above her as a person and has the gall to critique her character eliminates any actually cool qualities that he may have initially possessed.
If we cannot love and accept ourselves, then we most certainly cannot love and accept another. One of my friends posted on Facebook the other day about the importance of being in a relationship with yourself. She was referring to being single, but even those who are in a relationship with another person should also work on cultivating their own relationship with self. Building and growing a relationship with yourself should not be mistaken for narcissistic self-worship. Self love is positive and uplifting and seeks to make progress. A truly healthy relationship with yourself should therefore also critique and chastise as well as nurture and pamper. Yes, we should buy ourselves gifts, take ourselves out to dinner, croon to ourselves words of encouragement and affirmation, yet we should also point out our flaws, restrain our passions, and curb our judgments of others.
The more I have cultivated this relationship with myself, the more open I have become to accepting relationships with other people. I'm not currently in search of a romantic relationship, but even pure friendship is so much easier to come by when you are happy with yourself. People recognize and value self love and self confidence. Based on my own experiences, I would rather be friends with someone who is daring and outspoken and not afraid to be herself, rather than someone who is outwardly more decorous but inwardly a less genuine and free spirit.
Self love and self confidence have helped me to become a more joyful and productive person. Once upon a time, not so long ago, it was very easy for me to adapt the aforementioned submissive stance of personal insecurity. Today, I have been blessed to reach a place in my life where the opinions and judgments of people hold very little value. If someone wants to change me to more appropriately fit their standards, too bad. I'm happy with who I am. If you have a problem with that, then frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
Let the Independence Day fireworks commence as our self love and self confidence set our spirits on fire.
xoxo,
~Hope Adela
Photo: She So Photo MUAH: Josephine Love Wardrobe: Pink Champagne Vintage
Vintage swimsuit and jewelry, Betsey Johnson shoes, hat from The Clothesvine.
FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM | TWITTER
"National Anthem" expresses the feelings of a young and innocent girl in the beginning stages of dating a wealthy and attractive man. Towards the beginning of the song, we are presented with the line "He said to be cool, but I don't know how yet" after which the singer describes several incidents in which she discovers various rites of passage through partying and living a crazy, thrill-filled life. Near the end of the song, the line is repeated, but with an obviously different play on words: "He said to be cool, but I'm already coolest."
These two specific phrases quite accurately describe situations I have experienced during the course of my adult life. A lot of men feel that it is perfectly acceptable to hold standards over the heads of the women they choose to date. As a woman, it is so easy to fall into this entrapping behavioral cycle and doubt your own confidence and security. You end up basing your standards regarding your own personal identity off another person's beliefs and opinions.
"He said to be cool, but I don't know how yet"---the man in question does not obviously think that the singer of the song is in fact cool, and is giving her his opinion on how he thinks she should be. He is not satisfied with who she already is and wants to alter her in a way that is befitting to his own desires. The singer is only too willing to acquiesce to his statement and has no qualms admitting that she does not yet know how to live up to these standards of coolness.
By the end of the song however, it is apparent that the singer has reached her maturity as a woman: "He said to be cool, but I'm already coolest." She has not yet made the standards that her man has expected from her, because he's still telling her to be cool. However, she has apparently ceased to associate any value with his opinion, and frankly states that she's in fact surpassed his level of accomplishment. The rest of the song shows that the very fact that her man thinks that he is above her as a person and has the gall to critique her character eliminates any actually cool qualities that he may have initially possessed.
If we cannot love and accept ourselves, then we most certainly cannot love and accept another. One of my friends posted on Facebook the other day about the importance of being in a relationship with yourself. She was referring to being single, but even those who are in a relationship with another person should also work on cultivating their own relationship with self. Building and growing a relationship with yourself should not be mistaken for narcissistic self-worship. Self love is positive and uplifting and seeks to make progress. A truly healthy relationship with yourself should therefore also critique and chastise as well as nurture and pamper. Yes, we should buy ourselves gifts, take ourselves out to dinner, croon to ourselves words of encouragement and affirmation, yet we should also point out our flaws, restrain our passions, and curb our judgments of others.
The more I have cultivated this relationship with myself, the more open I have become to accepting relationships with other people. I'm not currently in search of a romantic relationship, but even pure friendship is so much easier to come by when you are happy with yourself. People recognize and value self love and self confidence. Based on my own experiences, I would rather be friends with someone who is daring and outspoken and not afraid to be herself, rather than someone who is outwardly more decorous but inwardly a less genuine and free spirit.
Self love and self confidence have helped me to become a more joyful and productive person. Once upon a time, not so long ago, it was very easy for me to adapt the aforementioned submissive stance of personal insecurity. Today, I have been blessed to reach a place in my life where the opinions and judgments of people hold very little value. If someone wants to change me to more appropriately fit their standards, too bad. I'm happy with who I am. If you have a problem with that, then frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
Let the Independence Day fireworks commence as our self love and self confidence set our spirits on fire.
xoxo,
~Hope Adela
Photo: She So Photo MUAH: Josephine Love Wardrobe: Pink Champagne Vintage
Vintage swimsuit and jewelry, Betsey Johnson shoes, hat from The Clothesvine.
FACEBOOK | INSTAGRAM | TWITTER
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