Restart button

When Lane died I got unexpected support from an old friend. She and I went to junior high and high school together. We were in the same crowd but not really close. After college we both lived at home for awhile and started hanging out. Then she got married and moved out west. We saw each other at reunions or a wedding but didn't stay in touch so naturally I was surprised when she called me shortly after Lane died.

She had lost 2 husbands by that time and really understood my pain. I can't tell you how much she helped me just by listening and acknowledging what I was going through. She didn't try to "fix it" or give me advice. She just quietly let me vent, checked in frequently and was always there when I needed her.

After a few years we drifted apart again. She retired early and seemed to drop off the face of the earth. Didn't return calls or email. I was worried at first but after awhile I chose to believe she got busy with stuff and was doing well.

Quite unexpectedly, I heard from her a couple of days ago. She is fine and apologized for being out of touch. She explained that she decided to restart her life and leave old memories and people behind. She had been focusing on making new relationships and having new experiences. In the end, hitting the restart button didn't bring her the happiness she had hoped for. The new life she tried to create wasn't more fulfilling or exciting than her old life.

Over the years, I have thought about hitting the restart button a number of times. You know, starting a new life full of adventure and fun. But finding that button is challenging. I either don't know how to restart my life or I don't want to. In some small ways I have hit the restart button since Lane died. I had to. But for the most part, I am living my old life just without Lane. When I put it that way I need to find that restart button and quick.

Have you pressed the restart button since your husband died?

Sue